Good joke for a Saturday night
An old woman walked up and tied her old mule to the hitching post.
As she stood there, brushing some of the dust from her face
and her clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon
with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.
The gunslinger looked at the old woman and laughed, saying
"Hey, old woman, have you ever danced?"
The old woman looked up at the gunslinger and said,
"No ... I never did dance ... never really wanted to."
A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said,
"Well, you old bag, you're gonna dance now," as he started
shooting at the old woman's feet.
The old woman, a prospector -- not wanting to get her feet
blown off -- started hopping around. . Everyone was laughing
when his last bullet had been fired, and when the young gunslinger,
still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go
back into the saloon.
The old woman turned to her pack mule, pulled out
a double-barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers.
The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air,
and the crowd stopped laughing immediately.
The gunslinger heard the clicks, too, and he turned around
very slowly. . The silence was almost deafening.
The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the
old woman and the large gaping holes of the twin shotgun barrels.
The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old woman's
hands as she quietly said, "Son, have you ever kissed a mule's ass?"
The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No, ma'am .......
But I have always wanted to."
There are 5 lessons here for all of us:::
1 - Never be arrogant.
2 - Don't waste ammunition.
3 - Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.
4 - Always make sure you know who has the power.
5 - Don't mess with old people; they didn't get old by being stupid.
I re-typed it for you, because it was all capitals. -- j
.
As she stood there, brushing some of the dust from her face
and her clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon
with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.
The gunslinger looked at the old woman and laughed, saying
"Hey, old woman, have you ever danced?"
The old woman looked up at the gunslinger and said,
"No ... I never did dance ... never really wanted to."
A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said,
"Well, you old bag, you're gonna dance now," as he started
shooting at the old woman's feet.
The old woman, a prospector -- not wanting to get her feet
blown off -- started hopping around. . Everyone was laughing
when his last bullet had been fired, and when the young gunslinger,
still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go
back into the saloon.
The old woman turned to her pack mule, pulled out
a double-barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers.
The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air,
and the crowd stopped laughing immediately.
The gunslinger heard the clicks, too, and he turned around
very slowly. . The silence was almost deafening.
The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the
old woman and the large gaping holes of the twin shotgun barrels.
The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old woman's
hands as she quietly said, "Son, have you ever kissed a mule's ass?"
The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No, ma'am .......
But I have always wanted to."
There are 5 lessons here for all of us:::
1 - Never be arrogant.
2 - Don't waste ammunition.
3 - Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.
4 - Always make sure you know who has the power.
5 - Don't mess with old people; they didn't get old by being stupid.
I re-typed it for you, because it was all capitals. -- j
.
Previous comments... You are currently on page 3.
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Andrea
And I think the gunslinger in the story was smart enough to have been worth saving.
Thanks for removing the caps, I 'see' as yelling nowadays. I will send that story on to one of my sisters.
Jan
Anyway, I am that tower and I am bored. The night has been very long. I am actually recalling things I have not thought about for years.
The phone rings.
I answer correctly: "Tower Four. Officer (my last name)."
I recognize the voice of an experienced officer who asks, "Have you ever seen an elephant hide in a tree?"
I say, "No."
Voice says, "They hide pretty good, don't they?"
The guy with the voice immediately hung up.
I laughed so loud I'll bet any inmates awake could hear me across the prison yard.
the lessons would not change.
if we hold up an index finger and get quiet, it's time for a break ...
after awhile, we continue in a more civil manner... -- j
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The wife wasn't a big talker so the husband explained by relating an anecdote from their honeymoon which inspired him to be a devoted and faithful spouse.
"We went on a mule back tour of the Grand Canyon on our honeymoon.
My wife's mule was acting out and stumbled going down a steep grade causing her to fall off. She looked that mule straight in the eyes and says, "That's once," before remounting.
This happened again, and my wife followed the exact same procedure.
The third time it happened, my wife looked that mule straight in the eyes and said, "That's three times." Then she pulled out a 45 caliber pistol and shot the mule between the eyes--killing it.
I said to her, "Honey, you didn't have to kill the poor thing."
She looked me straight in the eyes and said, "That's once."
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