Dad is Dying
Thought I'd share. It doesn't look like my dad is going to survive his bout with COVID. He's on ventilator, sedated. Not recovering. They are hinting that his lungs may never function without a machine for the rest of his life. So, that's not going to be how he continues on, if he makes it through this. His life has not been a pleasure cruise. It was more a dumpster fire...which to this Objectivist is very sad.
Cycle of life is funny. I'm raising two kids of my own. Trying so very hard to teach them the basic values that make life easy, simple. In my struggles to do that I've started to realize that "I'm the weirdo", as I joked to my son the other day. Now in my 5th decade I've come to realize that most people are drawn to trouble, drama, stupid decisions. I see it all around me and on tv. It's surreal. But, I digress. I spent Sunday visiting with my step mom to lift her spirits. As I started to leave their town in Nevada I stopped at a little riverside park to eat my lunch and take in the natural beauty. The place was empty except for just a few people. As I walked over to the restroom before leaving I walked by a very young couple, the lady was all excited as they both looked at the ring on her finger. What a beautiful place to propose. I looked over and said, "What's going on here!?" Of course they just got engaged and I was the first witness. Their excitement was really beautiful. The young lady was all smiles, and so beautiful. I took a photo for them with their phone before continuing on. These hints, these scenes that remind me of the cycle of life keep showing up around me and I really notice them now. Our lives are so precious.
Cycle of life is funny. I'm raising two kids of my own. Trying so very hard to teach them the basic values that make life easy, simple. In my struggles to do that I've started to realize that "I'm the weirdo", as I joked to my son the other day. Now in my 5th decade I've come to realize that most people are drawn to trouble, drama, stupid decisions. I see it all around me and on tv. It's surreal. But, I digress. I spent Sunday visiting with my step mom to lift her spirits. As I started to leave their town in Nevada I stopped at a little riverside park to eat my lunch and take in the natural beauty. The place was empty except for just a few people. As I walked over to the restroom before leaving I walked by a very young couple, the lady was all excited as they both looked at the ring on her finger. What a beautiful place to propose. I looked over and said, "What's going on here!?" Of course they just got engaged and I was the first witness. Their excitement was really beautiful. The young lady was all smiles, and so beautiful. I took a photo for them with their phone before continuing on. These hints, these scenes that remind me of the cycle of life keep showing up around me and I really notice them now. Our lives are so precious.
I remember the first time I saw my wife. She was in an office that hired me. My new boss introduced me as the new guy. She turned around to say "hi" and there she was: looked like Jayne Mansfield - in jeans and sweatshirt. The rest is history...
What you describe is why I watch Tucker Carlson, then Hallmark and History Channel, no mainstream networks. Watch Yellowstone on Paramount. I cannot believe what passes for normal anymore. No responsibility, no love of country or capitalism, no respect for individualism, and no strong belief in property rights. It makes me sick. But at 73, I am a fighter, and try to inform someone everyday, point out the fallacy of masks, and warn of coming communism. Then I go out in our rural yard and feed the birds, listen to their songs, marvel at the 200 trees, and think about all the old white Brit writers I loved to read, who embraced nature, but not fake science.
I was actually a pretty sober guy until I met my wife. We had both been married before (mistakes early kind of thing), and knew instantly we were a match. She taught me all about developing my humorous side, and found my risk taker attitude both scary and exciting. After we retired, we traveled a lot, and enjoyed each other's company. The last 18 months were hard, as her health deteriorated, but she always had that Hollywood smile, even two days before the end. I think I'm a better man for having had the pleasure of her company for so long.
~Nan.
My sincere condolences to you and your family at the loss of your father. No words are truly adequate, but know that you are thought of and cared about. Cherish your memories of your father during this difficult time.
My mother died on this date 14 years ago; at times, it still is difficult, but the lessons and love she and my dad imparted to my sisters and me keep us going. Both of them mentioned that they were glad that neither was living during these current times.
Again, my sincere condolences for your loss.
Staying away from crowds, concentrating on living life without unnecessary personal interaction, concentrating more on family and individual responsibililty. Eventually there will be vaccines, but until then closing down the economy will just make more hell for all of us.
Jan
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