A guy posted this on my game this morning. I'm still laughing.

i was standing in line at walmart with a bag of dog food when the woman behind me asked "you have a dog?" i thought for a second "really". but i said "no im trying the dog food again" even though the last time i ended up in the hospital in ICU with all sorts of monitors and 2 IV's. i did lose 50 pounds and it was easy. you just load your pockets up with the dog treats and eat one when you feel hungry. by now everyone in line was listening to my story. then she asked" was it food poisoning that made me end up in the hospital" i said "no.i stepped off the curb to smell this poodles butt and got hit by a car." i thought the guy in line was going to die from a heart attack from laughing so hard.

...I'm still wiping the tears from my eyes....

http://www.galtsgulchonline.com/posts...

I usually have a good laugh when I watch an episode of Top Gear. Does anyone else like that show?

First of all, what a great opening line.
This was not my last one, but it is one of my most memorable. Grandson David was small for his age. (12 as I recall). And skinny. He'd been in martial arts classes since the age of 5. I was picking him up that day and he was slow leaving school so I wandered into his classroom where he was having an altercation with a kid much larger than him. Spotting me, He grabbed his books and turned to go when the big kid grabbed him wrapping his arm around his throat. Before I could even open my mouth the kid found himself over David's head landing in a desk-chair. The look of bewilderment on the kids face was so precious I just could not stop laughing.

About a week ago, I went on a lovely date with a great guy. We drove about 2 hours to a quiet seasonal bistro on the river that had excellent food, including best scallops I'd ever had, and we shared a nice bottle of wine. Needless to say, everything was perfect. Before we left, having a long drive home ahead of us, we decided to use the restroom. He entered the men's bathroom and I entered the women's restroom, naturally. Now as I was washing up, I heard some rather raucous sounds coming from the other side of the paper thin wall. I put two and two together and as I existed and met up with him again, I gave him a "look" and asked him if he felt better, to which he responded in horror "Oh no, you actually heard that?!". Maybe you had to be there but we proceeded to laugh for the next 20 minutes to the point of tears.. does potty humor ever get old?

Here :D I'm pretty sure if I had been drinking milk, it would have exited my nose.

http://www.galtsgulchonline.com/posts...

my last belly laugh was watching this video yesterday:
https://video-dfw1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hvi...

For your next big belly laugh, see my post on how a study finds that religion = good mental health + happiness.

Bud the Montana Cowboy
A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new 2015 BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"
Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Apple i phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany ...
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Apple iPad® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email on his Galaxy S5® and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know sh*t about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep."
"Now give me back my dog."

Just watched John Oliver's take on televangelists. Fell over laughing. http://www.rollingstone.com/tv/news/w... -- maybe this should be posted in the culture, economics, education, government, history, philosophy and politics departments, too.

Last night. I have two kids whom I can goad into literal fits of hysterical tears.

Without even touching them.

One of my daughters I can just look at and crook my fingers at as if I was going to tickle her (think "the Claw" from Liar, Liar). For some reason she just busts up laughing.

I can also infect my oldest son into real belly laughs just by laughing with him - especially if its late at night. He'll usually crack some corny joke and grin, and if I follow it up with some good laughs, he'll join in and neither one of us will be able to look at the other without breaking out again. I've laughed non-stop for 15 minutes before. Best therapy there is.

This twitter response to Neil deGrasse Tyson.

https://twitter.com/awstar11/status/6...

Last week. Ottawa. A puzzle collectors' convention. Saturday night banquet. Entertainment: two jugglers (the "Cowguys") with escalating comedy tricks, including one guy holding a celery stalk in his mouth while the other chopped off an inch at a time with a bullwhip. Then they got audience members on stage as patsies.The timing was perfect and repartee between them and with the audience was hilarious. The tricks got riskier and riskier. For the finale they threw machetes back and forth while one balanced on a gigantic ball and the other on a teeter board balanced on a rolling cylinder and the patsy standing between them.... -- You had to have been there. I laughed so hard I cried and had to gasp for air..

Not having TV, I get to see Big Bang Theory only on the road at motels. It's the only show I've found with sure-fire intellectually triggered guffaws. A laugh a minute, even without the annoying laugh track.

The best laughs, though, are not from professional entertainers but from the spontaneous lunacies of day-to-day life and the impish improvs of dear friends. I'm also a sucker for puns. One good groan is as good as a guffaw.

Thanks, KH, for this question. We can use a few more laughs.

Someone once told me that he thought Ayn Rand had no sense of humor. As someone who has personally heard Ayn Rand being (rarely) funny, I knew he was mistaken. I suggested he read the first three words of a certain book.

Humor often amounts to the presentation of the juxtaposition of contrary elements, sometimes as "A and non-A" as a surprise.

I don't remember the last one. My late father used
to get very disgusted and say things that sent me
into fits. (Then he'd seem somewhat disgusted with
me for laughing at him). There was some guy on the TV, and Daddy was so disgusted with the guy's
appearance, and was going on about it.--"He looks like he never had a mouth. Until one day
somebody came along with an ax, and chopped
him in the face, and THERE, he had a MOUTH!---But still..."

My last full on belly laugh was yesterday, when I saw Raising Hope, season 1, episode 15 called Snip Snip. For all you guys out there, it's what you think it is.
There is a scene in the dr's office which had me doubled over. Suffice it to say if I ever hear the words prickly pear again, I will lose it! It was actually a rather nice double entendre. Also "flinking", which was the drug induced feeling of simultaneous floating and sinking. I'm starting to laugh all over again!

That's an easy one, because it's a repeater: The last time I watched the Roberto Benigni "Rome" scene from "Night on Earth." The first time I saw that I laughed so hard I pulled a muscle in my back. I think I may have passed an entire slice of pizza through my nose too, but the whole thing is a little hazy. Come to think of it, I might have passed out from asphyxiation. It doesn't lose a whole lot of impact with subsequent viewings either, assuming you put a couple months between them.

A bit late to the post, but my last good belly laugh was watching Z Nation (a much more light and fun zombie apocalypse show, Stuff does not always make sense, actually rarely does but the show is a lot of fun. its on netflix for any interested.

Potential Spoiler alert:
Well in one episode one of the characters is trapped in a ventilation shaft with a zombie that keeps attempting to bite him, but is trapped in cabling a bit to far away to get a bit. He pulls out a join and strikes it up, takes several drags then attempts to give a drag to the zombie, who tries to bite his hand. The one sided conversation based on the zombies reactions made me, my wife, and all my kids bust up laughing