Ask them if you should feel guilty for pursuing your own happiness- as in life, liberty, & the pursuit of happiness- which everyone has a right to. It’s in the Declaration of Independence, Rand simply illustrated that one’s own happiness is the ultimate goal of objectivism. Ironically, ones happiness will vary from one to another subjectively & it is the subjective criticism that is interfering with your objectivism governed by your own subjective mind. Knowing this, I don’t think “objectivism” means what your critics think it means! There is nothing greedy about objectivism- seeking happiness- respecting other people’s rights to pursue the same. I’d consider it close cousins with utilitarianism which is choosing something that causes the most happiness and causes the least amount of suffering. Objectivism leaves out the suffering part and focuses on the happy- personally, it seems it’s not the term and the ideology behind it, but the question as to whether you or anyone else is worthy of such a pursuit or goal? My wife was the same- at one point she felt she didn’t deserve to be happy because of her past struggles. When you’re used to struggling, happiness can seem like an Erie sort of calm just waiting for the other foot to drop. When that calm comes, embrace it. People can see it and it reflects outwardly remarkably & people will want to know how you do it. It’s easier said than done, but in the end it begins with a decision to put the first foot forward- the other foot will follow and momentum builds from there. You’ve got this!

"I will not allow other people's opinions to determine my reality!"
I hope that you don't either.

My condolences for your girlfriend.. Nobody deserves that.
Too many heartless sociopaths are slimming around.

my girlfriend is going thru it now...been a year so far...

That had to be a nightmare. Hope it never happens to me dino.

...amazing...I don't have the sports car yet...

my ss # was stolen 10 years ago...I watched as attempts to purchase items with my name and social went across the country as my ss # was sold over and over again...took 3 years before it stopped happening...

Me dino has been phoned that I won Publishers Clearing House three whole times and asked to give up my checking account number so I may receive my fabulous fortune, the representative of the US government wanted to give me a million plus something of pooled surplus prize money plus~A BRAND NEW SPORTS CAR!~but first I had to send $499 to someone at a Walmart in Texas, a mean voice said he was from the IRS and, instead of getting ready the account numbers of all my assets as instructed, I laughed at the caller he said would call 20 minutes later and did, and I was to receive free knee braces as long as I gave up my SS number. This does not include scams received by email and snail mail. Much of that is forgotten but being told that sending someone money way back during the 70s would "unlock the secret of receiving UNTOLD RICHES" (printed just like that) kinda sticks in me dino's rusty memory banks.

both of us...my brother and sister have received these calls...
my girlfriend's apple phone and computer are ok so far....

when I first got into florida (25 years ago), I applied to rent a house for 12 months...there were 3 arrest warrants out for a John H Kelly in Ft Lauderdale...we had to get down to my social security # until I was eliminated...never came across the other guy...

What other people “say” is often not a reflection of what they have discovered by virtue of their intellect or experience but rather what they been taught to say to confirm their loyalty to a group, ideology or theology. I would rather be true to myself then cipher, a member of the herd. But do not think you are alone or destined to be so. Others with your desire to be an individual, a fully thinking self aware human being will find you. Galt’s Gulch is more then a metaphor. You will find us. We will find you.

I was going to make an edit to say this, but I can't so, Thank you, all of you. It's been very helpful

Dismissing the word of other people, "greed" is the first step to sanity. Self interest is what they can't understand, but is the backbone of all life, anything less diminishes you and those around you.You do your best for what is best for you, and you encourage others to find that same situation. Only then can people be free and part of the machine that drives a successful world.

You feel "stress" because other people trash and misrepresent Objectivism? While Objectivism is greedy, that does not make it wrong. You're supposed to be greedy for what you can produce yourself, not to covet your neighbor's goods and want to steal them.It is not aggressive and intending to "break another man's back", to want to be free and to produce. You are not supposed to take what belongs to another without his consent. Do you remember Hank Rearden's speech when he is put on "trial" (it doesn't really amount to much of a trial), where he says, "I work for nothing but my own profit. l earn it."? And where he describes how he rose in the world, all his dealings with other men, bosses, customers, and his own employees, being by their own voluntary consent? Are you really sure that you have understood Objectivism so far?
What "guilt" do you feel? Have you allowed those other people, including "every person ]you] look up to" to infect you with an unearned guilt?And what kind of people have you been looking up to?--
It is very common for Objectivism to be misrepresented in this way, it is nothing new. Please don't cave in to it. Don't let it overcome you. I think we all have heard the kind of stuff that people have been throwing at you. You can click in here and see that there are people who know better than that. (I do not want a wounded sister to allow herself to be overcome).

Coincidental!
An hour ago I got a robot lady call from (caller ID) San Marcos, Kalifornia. I was told an arrest warrant has been issued against "your name and identity" (who ever says your name and identity?). I'm to call a given number before the warrant is submitted to authorities in my area. How about at least stating I'm in the Birmingham, Alabama, area? (The satellite city is Pleasant Grove).
Now why would someone tip me off that I'm about to be arrested? Maybe they want my checking account number. Maybe I should toss in my social security number too.
Maybe I should look back into my delete file so I may negotiates with these sloppy rip-off artists.
Last time me dino was in Kalifornia was 1976 so I must have done something really bad.

There is a long story to preface this, but my wife and I once sent our oldest son to a homeless shelter (70 miles away) rather than accept him back into our home. It was a difficult decision, but not impossible. Our "selfish" desires to be "empty nesters" outweighed his "need" for personal comfort. The responses to our actions have largely been positive.

I have a number of beliefs that I feel would get me stoned by the liberal bleeding hearts, out there. I...DON'T...CARE! I'm enjoying my life and to Hell with them.

Take a close look at the faces of Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Schumer and Maxine Waters and tell me that those people are ever happy. Then, look at the faces of conservatives and you have to wonder if anything every really bothers them.

Our first responsibility is always to ourselves (just listen to an airline stewardess, when they explain the use of oxygen masks). You always look out for yourself, first. If it, then, gives you a good feeling to help others...do so. If you feel you're simply being taken advantage of, act accordingly and walk away with an absolutely clear conscience.

the liberals are great at creating guilt where none should be. They just want my life and my money. I get it. I pretty much run in the other direction mentally, and more and more- physically

Rand has always been called extreme, radical, and many other things. The people you are hearing actually know nothing about Objectivism. It’s your first and foremost responsibility - and also everyone else’s responsibility - is to take care of yourself. That’s not greed. That’s being responsible. Others who want to say you’re greedy and should take care of or otherwise support others are moochers. You need not break anyone’s back or lack empathy to take care of yourself first.
Your life is YOURS! And nobody has a right to take it from you. Being the kind and sympathetic person I know you are (because otherwise you wouldn’t feel this way) you can help folks as much as you want as long as YOU want, and not because someone else says so. You do that voluntarily, but not to your own detriment, and not because you’re forced into it. And, you can keep your hair!!

some just called my wife's cell phone...then told her unless she paid an enormous sum, that he would f..k up her phone...it is an apple and is losing all of it's emails...unbelievable...what's next...

of course, she should not have answered a number she did not recognize, but I can't say that and live...I never answer unless it is in my phone base...and only review messages that have been left...most of my phone calls are robo...

Greed is defined as having a desire to have more of something than is needed. Which in turn silently asks the question; who determines what is more than needed. In the Altruistic philosophy the individual is never allowed to answer this question it is determined by the collective who have the desire to possess what you have by taking it from you not by creating it for themselves. If you are having trouble because you are alone get used to it. Very few actually come to believe in the value of objectivism and liberty. Don't compromise in order to have company, you will be more alone. They may want to talk with you but what they (the altruists) really want is permission to destroy you in order to take what you have and to make you the guilty one with their accusations that your philosophy is unfair because it requires people to be responsible for themselves. When people pursue their selfish interests is when even the unappreciative group benefits the most. More tools are invented, more supplies produced and even the slothful lead better lives because of it. Be yourself and I hope you find at least one other to share your thoughts and your chosen behavior with. It is not worthwhile to join the immoral to get approval from them.

This is the problem: "Everywhere I read, everywhere I look, every person I look up to, says Objectivism is greedy, that its wrong,..."

Many people will apply a label to a philosophy, then declare that philosophy is evil. They offer no substantiation, no rationale - just their naked declarations that "Objectivism = greedy" and "greedy = evil" therefore "Objectivism = evil.

Why do you believe them? Why does this cause you stress? It is no different than children calling, "Nyah, nyah, nyah." in a schoolyard. This may matter to another child, but we are not children. We may choose to require proof and logic and not just name calling.

Jan, a true woman of reason
(and I'll smash anyone who says I'm not)

You are not alone.

What is the basis of that friendship? Time? Familiarity? Habit? Loneliness? Unless there are shared interests and values, as well as mutual respect, no friendship is involved.

In my late teens, after reading AS several times, I realized that those who attempt to make one feel guilty are trying to control you in some way. The proper response is to figuratively run the opposite direction. In other words, do not accept unearned guilt.

Getting all of that small change,calculators, Indian dream catchers, calendars, address labels and assorted other stuff is proof that charities have passed my name and address around for being a giver.
OK?

ok

You have only one problem: You care about what others think about you. Here's the cure. Just repeat this mantra: "You obviously have me confused with someone who gives a shit." Just read the words. If you understand their meaning you know that your so-called friends have changed the entire premise and basic principles of objectivism. in order to accomodate their own fallacious reasoning. They may realize that objectivism shows up their shortcomings to a degree that causes them to be embarrassed.These are not people who you should care about.You'll find the ones who express an interest in you even if they're not sure why, but admire you as a person. That's what heroes are made of.
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