10

Thoughts From A Twisted Mind

Posted by Herb7734 2 months ago to Humor
20 comments | Share | Best of... | Flag

With all of the sad, negative downers in today's news, it came to mind that it may be time for a bit of humor. Here is some humor with a moral lesson attached to east one. Some are obvious, some you'll need to look for. All are worth at least, a smile up to a guffaw.

ANATOMIC VICTORY
A document recently surfaced which proved that Hitler only had one testicle. Lance Armstrong, the American bicyclist and winner of the Grand Prix was also similarly unendowed. It proves that you only need one testicle in order to defeat France.

TO ME, it's the motor knocking, to the mechanic, it's opportunity.

ADVICE TO SNOWFLAKES
There is no safety in numbers -- or anything else.

You can't change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying about the future.

I remember when a liberal was generous with his own money.

Never trust a contest where the winners cry and the losers smile.

An eccentric is a person who is too rich to be called a crackpot.

HELLO EGGNOG PRIEST
Nature abhors a vacuum, so she fills empty heads with conceit.

AGE EXPLAINED
The young tell us what they are doing.
The old tell us what they have done.
The rest of us wht we are going to do.

HOW THE ECONOMY WORKS
If the government promises you something, it must first take it from you.

DIDJA EVER NOTICE?
When you start school, you can't read or write, then they tell you not to talk.

HERBIE"S LAUGHTER LAW:
It's hard to create humor because of the unfair competition from the real world.


Add Comment

FORMATTING HELP

All Comments Hide marked as read Mark all as read

  • Posted by freedomforall 2 months ago
    "I remember when a liberal was generous with his own money."
    That would have been a classical liberal like Thomas Jefferson, not a modern socialist liberal like Hitlery Clintonista.

    Thanks for the lighter side, Herb ;^)
    Reply | Mark as read | Best of... | Permalink  
    • Posted by  $  Solver 2 months ago
      The term has devolved into, being generous with other’s people’s money. They use a kind of Social Charity. Mostly funded by progressive taxation and Social Injustice.
      Reply | Mark as read | Parent | Best of... | Permalink  
  • Posted by LibertyBelle 2 months ago
    The two best ones were the one about the liberal
    and his being "generous" (and don't I know it, from the time I was a carhop, talking to the kind of person who bragged about not tipping!), and "HERBIE'S LAUGHTER LAW" .
    Reply | Mark as read | Best of... | Permalink  
  • Posted by Jstork 2 months ago
    "I remember when a liberal was generous with his own money."
    Certainly not the case in Canada.
    "How The Economy Works" also so true.
    Thanks
    Reply | Mark as read | Best of... | Permalink  
  • Posted by  $  Olduglycarl 2 months ago
    Your last comment is true. If one can sit back as if watching a sitcom, it would fill one's days and nights with laughter.
    Reply | Mark as read | Best of... | Permalink  
    • Posted by  $  Stormi 2 months ago
      Actually, when I need a break from the iidiodcy of the world, I watch 'Leave it to Beaver" or a movie from the 40s. such fun and common sense, not to mention good grammar! Actually, I was watching a recap of Burt Reynolds and when interviewed, he used a gerund properly with a possessive, that never happens on TV these day. I know,only a type A English major would care.
      Reply | Mark as read | Parent | Best of... | Permalink  
  • Comment hidden by post owner or admin, or due to low comment or member score. View Comment
  • Posted by EgoPriest 2 months ago
    You write like me. I like that. As integrated conceptually, my name "Egopriest" is reclaiming a title from those who never earned it. But if the epithet sticks (and believe me, at times it has), then if my mind is conceited now, then at least it's flowing over into constructive action: the name of which is "Respectivism."

    I'm happy to see the test works. Before the training must come the treatment (and anyway, I do love eggnog...and your poetry).

    B^)-[GSS-105]-<
    Reply | Mark as read | Best of... | Permalink  
    • Posted by 2 months ago
      You are a strange but interesting fellow.
      Reply | Mark as read | Parent | Best of... | Permalink  
      • Comment hidden by post owner or admin, or due to low comment or member score. View Comment
      • Posted by EgoPriest 2 months ago
        Strangely ironic when "medicated" for the pain, but as measured and reasonable as a heart attack when sober.

        My education and brain boosters aged me considerably, but I'm finally getting back to where I once belonged: Planet Earth! The Revolution to Take Ownership! Once and for All. To say: "Your life belongs to you!" to yourself, and mean it enough to speak out, theatrically or politically or in every area of interest, there's a principled and poetic paragraph that applies leading up to the moral essence, the pinnacle, the oath.

        I need to put my money where my mouth is but I'm penniless and regrettably live at the kind mercy of my cynical benefactor due to my condition. So I mean it when I say that the poetic training IS the therapy (but must be preceded by the great learning grounded in ITOE.

        I bring my own baggage to the wager for our freedom: I'm essentially Jordan Peterson's "evil-twin-brother" archetype or whatever. That was my pre-Ayn Rand past, my mental and emotional training.

        But now I'm looking at people like Rucka Rucka Ali and Charles Tew and feeling normal again (they're like the Matt Stone and Trey Parker of the young revolutionaries that I enjoy keeping up with). I survived cancer, so I can survive the present insanity by knowing how to see better than a monkey, and speak better than a Cockatoo.
        Reply | Mark as read | Parent | Best of... | Permalink  

FORMATTING HELP

  • Comment hidden. Undo