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A Safe Space - A Short Story Written By Me (awebb)

Posted by awebb 2 months, 3 weeks ago to Humor
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A while back, I entered a flash fiction writing challenge. You have 48 hours to write a story that is under 1,001 words. The catch? You're assigned a specific genre, setting, and object that must be incorporated.

Here was what I got:

Genre: Political Satire
Setting: Liquor Store
Object: Flip Chart

The result was "A Safe Space." It's something I thought fellow Gulchers might enjoy.

READ: http://bit.ly/2xfzmd0

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Note: There is a smidge of foul language so if that offends you don't read it.


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  • Posted by  $  Commander 2 months, 3 weeks ago
    Brava!!!!

    And at the same time I weep......
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    • Posted by 2 months, 3 weeks ago
      I hear you. The judges thought I went a little overboard, but I'm not sure I did....
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      • Posted by  $  Commander 2 months, 3 weeks ago
        From a song, "Molly O'Malley's: "You can't be shy and you cannot lie when you sing a song that's true"
        Brave New World, 1984, Anthem.....These came immediately to mind mid story. You're in good company.
        With permission, I'd like to print this. There's a place on the wall nesting with "The Paradox of Our Time", Bob Moorehead and "The Invitation", Oriaha House.
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  • Posted by  $  Olduglycarl 2 months, 3 weeks ago
    I had a tough time reading that, (I felt queezy myself.), wanted to bop them both upside their heads hoping for a reset...oh, forgot... we can't say "Reset" anymore...it's Russian.

    Scary as hell, worse than a Horror Film.

    Send your script to Neflix's Black Mirror...it would play well.
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    • Posted by 2 months, 3 weeks ago
      Thanks for toughing it out! :)
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      • Posted by  $  Olduglycarl 2 months, 3 weeks ago
        I am serious about the value of your story made into an episode for Black Mirror...it could be made to show the scarier side of this nonsense and it's repercussions...ex...like showing them they are no different than the Nazi's in their "Exclusion" of others, (coming face to face with their own reflections) not to mention, their lack of mental stamina to survive a societal collapse.
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  • Posted by  $  allosaur 2 months, 3 weeks ago
    "I cringe at the sound of my white girl name--" That had me dino laughing for a full five seconds.
    What is cringe worthy is that there are libtards who approximate living like that. "Self-made slaves"is a term that just jumped into me tiny dino mind.
    Your short story is a very good satire. The ending with a bum who takes credit cards is perfect
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  • Posted by GaryL 2 months, 3 weeks ago
    I believe I saw Emily at an Anti Trump rally supporting Antifa, Planned Parenthood and the Me Too movements as they were assaulting those freak Trumpsters.
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    • Posted by 2 months, 3 weeks ago
      Hmmm... I'm pretty sure I saw her at a climate change rally selling carbon offsets while drinking a venti no-foam double shot expresso form Starbucks. She had on one of those pink hats...
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  • Posted by  $  AJAshinoff 2 months, 3 weeks ago
    Just read this via a FB conversation, very well done! Creepily close to where the left wants to take us. It like a story that could fit into Fallacies of Vision. Very well done.
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    • Posted by 2 months, 3 weeks ago
      Thank you for reading it!

      I actually just got feedback from the judges, and one of the reasons it didn't score higher (I got a 9 out of possible 15) was because "The story hit on practically all hot button issues and groups and went so far as to make it appear that racism and discrimination don't exist."

      Actually, the submitted version was toned down. The original draft was far more scathing in regards to the left.
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      • Posted by  $  Dobrien 2 months, 3 weeks ago
        Yes Emily was obviously racist and acted discriminatory. Even if they said otherwise. So what, you absolutely creatively
        Used the required criteria. The post modern judge(s) can't stand the reality of ignorance that they spew.
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        • Posted by  $  Olduglycarl 2 months, 3 weeks ago
          Hence, the upside down paradigm.
          The whole idea of the safe space community center was to get away from their own racist and judgementalist attitudes...they just can't stand to see themselves in the mirror.
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          • Posted by  $  Dobrien 2 months, 3 weeks ago
            Funny Q has said to focus on the mirror. Remember the proof with the photo in AF1 of the reflection in the iPhone of POTUS office in the plane .Think mirror.
            His description of projection . The reference to narcissist preening in front of the mirror. The trait of narcissist to project.

            Excerpt From Q's most recent post......
            Define 'Projection'.
            The attribution of one's own ideas, feelings, or attitudes to other people or to objects; especially : the externalization of blame, guilt, or responsibility as a defense against anxiety?
            The forming of a plan : scheming?
            Define 'Psychological Projection'.
            A theory in psychology in which the human ego defends itself against unconscious impulses or qualities (both positive and negative) by denying their existence in themselves while attributing them to others?
            Define 'Narcissist'.
            A person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves: narcissists who think the world revolves around them | narcissists preening themselves in front of the mirror?
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            • Posted by  $  Olduglycarl 2 months, 3 weeks ago
              Yes, and as you know...that is exactly what the bicameral brained only people do!...read the old testament, the scrolls, and all the weirdo creatures that sacrificed virgins, babies and enemies to the gods.
              Defending, appeasing the gods to protect them from nature and their own behavior of which they have projected upon something else.
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      • Posted by  $  Olduglycarl 2 months, 3 weeks ago
        Funny, I thought your story showed that this faux idea of "Race" etc...does exist in the characters you created...were they not battling with those mental concepts all through the story?
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  • Posted by  $  mshupe 2 months, 3 weeks ago
    What's interesting is what isn't said. In this dystopian story, I assume they've redefined capitalism to conform to ESG reporting standards, otherwise who paid for the Louis Vitton or the smart phone? Of course eventually their safe space will end up being another Zucotti Park rape zone. Good summary of some of the social justice extremes.
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  • Posted by DrZarkov99 2 months, 3 weeks ago
    The story has the proper amount of disconnect from reality (as we Gulchers understand it) to qualify as a Twilight Zone episode. Unnerving how there are a significant number of young people being conditioned to think like this. It makes them totally dysfunctional and unable to contribute to society.
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    • Posted by 2 months, 3 weeks ago
      It's amazing how unemployable most young people are. About a year ago I was trying to help a friend of mine find a copywriter for his business and you would have thought we were looking for a literal unicorn or some other mythical creature. We found several fantastic writers but none of them could deliver on time, communicate, or frankly, think for themselves.
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  • Posted by BCRinFremont 2 months, 3 weeks ago
    The ending of this 1,000 word stroll through purgatory, maybe unintentionally, left me thinking of the nothingness of the existence of these non-entities. The story ends with no resolution. The people are stuck in a world that can not resolve itself. The hope is that this black hole existence has an event horizon that that one can steer clear of....
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  • Posted by gharkness 2 months, 3 weeks ago
    I actually went to school with someone who has literally chastised me for some of the things in this story! (She grew up in rural Texas like I did but then moved to Kalifornia.) I could practially hear the questions in your story coming from her voice!

    Nice story, and eerily far too familiar. Hope you don't mind me mentioning that you have a typo, which is very minor. You have an extra "s" at the end of the word "racist" in this phrase: "although that is pretty racists of you to assume"

    I always wanted to write. Unfortunately, while I'm good at non-fiction, I just don't have story-telling (of any sort) in me.

    Kudos to you.
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    • Posted by 2 months, 3 weeks ago
      Thank you for reading. Unfortunately, all I had to do to come up with the questions was watch some mainstream news.

      I don't mind you pointing out the typo at all!

      What about creative non-fiction?
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      • Posted by preimert1 2 months, 3 weeks ago
        hmmm "creative non-fiction"? do you mean a PC name for Fake News--or just an oxymoron? lol
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        • Posted by 2 months, 3 weeks ago
          When I say creative non-fiction I'm thinking of books like those written by Bill O'Reilly like Killing Lincoln or Killing Patton. If you've ever read any of those books, there are a lot of historical facts in them BUT he also takes liberties. For example, he'll wrote what Lincoln was thinking upon entering Richmond after the Confederate capitol fell... obviously, he has no way of knowing what Lincoln was actually thinking. He can make educated guesses based on letters, conversations, etc. but that's the "creative" part....
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          • Posted by preimert1 2 months, 3 weeks ago
            Okay, I was just making--probably inappropiatly---anattempt at humor. But now I understand Since it happened so long ago historians have had ample time to vett the facts so it couldn't be called fake newss (although i could have been at the time)t
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      • Posted by gharkness 2 months, 3 weeks ago
        Ha....my imagination is so limited that I can't even really grasp what you are saying about creative non-fiction? I tend to write How-Tos, What You Need to Know about XXX, 25 Ways to Maximize your YYY, that sort of thing. Small booklet-sized things.

        I think my CPA education has largely left me devoid of creativity. Clearly, the CPAs at Enron must not have gone to the same University I went to!
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        • Posted by 2 months, 3 weeks ago
          What do you write for? Like a blog or do you have eBooks out there?

          I love non-fiction. Sometimes reality is just way crazier and more entertaining than anything anyone ever made up. I'm currently working on reading a biography for every president (just about finished with Andrew Johnson).
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  • Posted by JohnJMulhall 2 months, 3 weeks ago
    Oh, Dear God... I know people like this... I need to go back and read 1984 before I decide they are stupid (er... lower IQ) so I can forgive them their capitulating to the propaganda (or, at least, acknowledging their lemming-ness).
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    • Posted by 2 months, 3 weeks ago
      While I love 1984, these people always make me think more of Animal Farm. “All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.”
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  • Posted by starznbarz 2 months, 3 weeks ago
    Outstanding! Have you considered printing a few thousand copies on paper with an official govt. " tax stamp" and distributing them at the next university sponsored anti trump rally in, say, Austin, TX. or Madison, WI. just to see if they get it?
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  • Posted by CircuitGuy 2 months, 3 weeks ago
    I grew up with concern for gender neutral words. But we walked to school together without parents and without great fear. It would be child abuse now, but I got snow in my boot a few blocks from school at age 6. My friends helped me and groused about my having stupidly walked in deep slush. It was fine though. Now the kids, except for mine, walk on those same streets with parents, who see even teenagers as never being out of their sight. The teenagers don't seem to rebel. I'm concerned about this. I teach my kids the same gender-neutral words my parents taught me. They are lucky I don't subject them to Free to Be You and Me, the record most people my age in Madison seem to have had in the 70s.

    I am not concerned about the gender and racial safe space. I'm concerned about them being scared to go outside and make basic decisions on their own.

    I appreciate the story, but they're not afraid of one thing, e.g. sex and racial stereotypes. They're afraid of everything that someone didn't hold their hand and tell them to do. Reality is weirder than fiction.
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