Never get specific. The more mysterious the culprit the less chance of discovery. Take it from this old fart.

kimchi is just plain rude, balouchs are worse.....

Just don't eat pickled eggs, kimchi, and Spaghetti-Os before your flight. (The formula a friend once used to clear an entire house.)

The physics of that doesn't work. Assuming the plane doesn't leak, whatever's inside it weighs the same before he farts as afterward.

Oh good grief Doc, every ship and submarine has had a "Phantom Sh@tter" who will do the deep and roll it up (duct tape is usually the weapon of choice) and put it in the trash, an alley way, a hidden spot to be stepped on. Usually frowned upon by command. I work at a high tech company and we just gave safety employee of the month to someone who went in the bathroom and found a steaming mound on the floor. Scatological humor and dysfunction seems to be a constant in society, for some strange reason. I am betting they even have their tales in the Congress, both houses....

New meaning to "Emergency Exit".....

Ha!

Nice, Cap'n....:)

I thought you were supposed to look at someone in the seats behind and say "Stop it" to cover up your crime....

At least keep them quiet and try looking bewildered as if you hadn't a clue as to who was doing it.

Did he actually have a choice? Perhaps he should have taken along extra underpants if he had a gas problem.

Having had severe gas before.. How the heck are you supposed to stop it? (Fortunately, my farts don't smell, LOL).

But, if it is mid flight, and the bathroom is open, go park yourself for a while, and give the poor people a break.

==
I love all the Military School stories. I just had 3 older brothers... But this is good:

One brother, quite upset that the other is drinking all the lemonade, except about 1oz and not making more, gets PEEVED. So, he mixes up a special batch. ZERO SUGAR and DOUBLE LEMONADE.

Next brother comes in, half laughing about fresh made lemonade. Goes to drink a huge gulp. And his face freezes. His throat automatically closed, the tartness kicked in, the horror on his face, he could not even SPIT it out, he leaned over the sink and let it drain out.

The first brother says "Ooops, I guess I forgot the sugar!", we laughed so hard, we had tears streaming down our face.

The second brother paid us back. He took our favorite cups (we each had one we used explicitly so mom knew who did not wash their cup), and he circled the rim with a jalapeno.

That burned the very crease of our lips quite nicely.

Being boys, it kept elevating until the parents threatened us all with death!

I love the issues over “emotional support” animals people bring to the airport- like hamsters If u need a hamster for emotional support so u can fly, you probably shouldn’t fly st sll

Just drop altitute and open a window

The same guy who blew up the poop cushion also one night applied shaving cream all over Grouchy's face while he slept above me.
I was about to drop off to sleep 15 or so minutes later when I heard Grouchy say, "Aurgh! Aurgh!" before he thumped down to the floor and hurried to the bathroom.
A moment later he returned to his bunk without saying anything. I pretended to sleep. The prankster was probably doing the same.

Me dino completely forgot that scene.

When I was a NAVCAD at Pensacola, someone
filled a condom with water until it was just short of exploding and 3 guys carefully placed in the cadet commander's bunk while he was gone. He returned shortly before lights out and tried to remove it by himself...big mistake!

"Welease Wodowick" MontyPython "Life of Brian"

That was a naval academy I went to called Admiral Farragut Academy in St. Petersburg, FL. The public entrance was called "The Quarterdeck" monitored by two senior cadets.
Behind The Quarterdeck's front desk was a spouting water fountain overlooked by a balcony that connected the second floor.
One night me dino was outside with friends sneaking cigarette smokes when we saw someone run in a crouch from the chemistry lab.
We got spooked for not belonging where we were, never mind the smoking, and so we went to our rooms.
About 20 minutes later the hallways became filled with smoke. Someone had dropped what was called a "sodium bomb" into The Quarterdeck fountain from the balcony above.
That's when me dino learned that sodium and water does not mix very well.
Me dino never took chemistry. Learned from a kid's chemistry set I received one Christmas that I didn't care much for it.

My time in the corps of cadets at Texas A&M was not without some serious pranks that sometimes escalated to a level of cross campus warfare. Bullying upperclassmen became victims of the infamous "Bab-o bomb." Trying to clean up after someone has exploded a can full of cleanser powder in your room was not easy, and it was the mildest of forms of retaliation. A worse fate was a pepper bomb, set off while the victim was asleep, with the door secured from the outside. How we managed to survive to graduation I sometimes wonder.

I'll never forgot the cadet officer who told me that "You need to fah-whoa mi-wa-tary wules and weh-ga-wa-tions."
At least he could properly say "immaculate" when he told us how he wanted our "wooms" to look.

That's what happens when you expand the insane asylums beyond the walls of confinement...never did we witness such bizarre behavior in my day.

I just could not believe this even made the news, then tonight there is the woman dog shamed on video for melting down over sitting next to a baby on the plane, her company has fired her. Really..Heinlein was right.

Hmmm...nothing like fun times at the old military academy. Our biggest entertainment in Boot Camp was mundane: find the biggest dust bunny as you were on your 2 hour broom patrol with a pair of socks on the broom.....

My folks had reason to send me dino to a military school when I was in the 11th grade.
After lights out one night, the cadet in a bottom bunk across the floor from mine did not like the trouble-making grouch in the bunk above me and used a poop cushion to drive him crazy.
Grouchy was the only one in the dark (well, the room was dark, of course) about the poop cushion being repeatedly blown up and squeezed.
So I was laughing my head off as was the guy in the other top bunk while Grouchy kept carrying on about the constant fart sounds..
Even funnier were the prankster's claims of "I can't help it! I have gasitus! Gasisitus! Gasitus is killing me! Oh, no! Here comes another!"
Finally, the prankster slid the poop cushion under his butt and came down on it really hard.
No balloon ever exploded as loudly as that poop cushion popped.
The prankster began to yell, "I broke my ass!" while a cadet officer ran up the hallway shouting "Who popped that firecracker?"
Our room passed the sniff test as officers went from room to room in a vain attempt to detect spent firecracker fumes.