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After lights out one night, the cadet in a bottom bunk across the floor from mine did not like the trouble-making grouch in the bunk above me and used a poop cushion to drive him crazy.
Grouchy was the only one in the dark (well, the room was dark, of course) about the poop cushion being repeatedly blown up and squeezed.
So I was laughing my head off as was the guy in the other top bunk while Grouchy kept carrying on about the constant fart sounds..
Even funnier were the prankster's claims of "I can't help it! I have gasitus! Gasisitus! Gasitus is killing me! Oh, no! Here comes another!"
Finally, the prankster slid the poop cushion under his butt and came down on it really hard.
No balloon ever exploded as loudly as that poop cushion popped.
The prankster began to yell, "I broke my ass!" while a cadet officer ran up the hallway shouting "Who popped that firecracker?"
Our room passed the sniff test as officers went from room to room in a vain attempt to detect spent firecracker fumes.
filled a condom with water until it was just short of exploding and 3 guys carefully placed in the cadet commander's bunk while he was gone. He returned shortly before lights out and tried to remove it by himself...big mistake!
I was about to drop off to sleep 15 or so minutes later when I heard Grouchy say, "Aurgh! Aurgh!" before he thumped down to the floor and hurried to the bathroom.
A moment later he returned to his bunk without saying anything. I pretended to sleep. The prankster was probably doing the same.
Behind The Quarterdeck's front desk was a spouting water fountain overlooked by a balcony that connected the second floor.
One night me dino was outside with friends sneaking cigarette smokes when we saw someone run in a crouch from the chemistry lab.
We got spooked for not belonging where we were, never mind the smoking, and so we went to our rooms.
About 20 minutes later the hallways became filled with smoke. Someone had dropped what was called a "sodium bomb" into The Quarterdeck fountain from the balcony above.
That's when me dino learned that sodium and water does not mix very well.
Me dino never took chemistry. Learned from a kid's chemistry set I received one Christmas that I didn't care much for it.
At least he could properly say "immaculate" when he told us how he wanted our "wooms" to look.
He would be good to have around a hot air balloon festival though.
But, if it is mid flight, and the bathroom is open, go park yourself for a while, and give the poor people a break.
==
I love all the Military School stories. I just had 3 older brothers... But this is good:
One brother, quite upset that the other is drinking all the lemonade, except about 1oz and not making more, gets PEEVED. So, he mixes up a special batch. ZERO SUGAR and DOUBLE LEMONADE.
Next brother comes in, half laughing about fresh made lemonade. Goes to drink a huge gulp. And his face freezes. His throat automatically closed, the tartness kicked in, the horror on his face, he could not even SPIT it out, he leaned over the sink and let it drain out.
The first brother says "Ooops, I guess I forgot the sugar!", we laughed so hard, we had tears streaming down our face.
The second brother paid us back. He took our favorite cups (we each had one we used explicitly so mom knew who did not wash their cup), and he circled the rim with a jalapeno.
That burned the very crease of our lips quite nicely.
Being boys, it kept elevating until the parents threatened us all with death!