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  • Posted by  $  allosaur 5 months ago
    My folks had reason to send me dino to a military school when I was in the 11th grade.
    After lights out one night, the cadet in a bottom bunk across the floor from mine did not like the trouble-making grouch in the bunk above me and used a poop cushion to drive him crazy.
    Grouchy was the only one in the dark (well, the room was dark, of course) about the poop cushion being repeatedly blown up and squeezed.
    So I was laughing my head off as was the guy in the other top bunk while Grouchy kept carrying on about the constant fart sounds..
    Even funnier were the prankster's claims of "I can't help it! I have gasitus! Gasisitus! Gasitus is killing me! Oh, no! Here comes another!"
    Finally, the prankster slid the poop cushion under his butt and came down on it really hard.
    No balloon ever exploded as loudly as that poop cushion popped.
    The prankster began to yell, "I broke my ass!" while a cadet officer ran up the hallway shouting "Who popped that firecracker?"
    Our room passed the sniff test as officers went from room to room in a vain attempt to detect spent firecracker fumes.
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    • Posted by preimert1 4 months, 4 weeks ago
      When I was a NAVCAD at Pensacola, someone
      filled a condom with water until it was just short of exploding and 3 guys carefully placed in the cadet commander's bunk while he was gone. He returned shortly before lights out and tried to remove it by himself...big mistake!
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      • Posted by  $  allosaur 4 months, 4 weeks ago
        The same guy who blew up the poop cushion also one night applied shaving cream all over Grouchy's face while he slept above me.
        I was about to drop off to sleep 15 or so minutes later when I heard Grouchy say, "Aurgh! Aurgh!" before he thumped down to the floor and hurried to the bathroom.
        A moment later he returned to his bunk without saying anything. I pretended to sleep. The prankster was probably doing the same.
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    • Posted by DrZarkov99 4 months, 4 weeks ago
      My time in the corps of cadets at Texas A&M was not without some serious pranks that sometimes escalated to a level of cross campus warfare. Bullying upperclassmen became victims of the infamous "Bab-o bomb." Trying to clean up after someone has exploded a can full of cleanser powder in your room was not easy, and it was the mildest of forms of retaliation. A worse fate was a pepper bomb, set off while the victim was asleep, with the door secured from the outside. How we managed to survive to graduation I sometimes wonder.
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      • Posted by  $  allosaur 4 months, 4 weeks ago
        That was a naval academy I went to called Admiral Farragut Academy in St. Petersburg, FL. The public entrance was called "The Quarterdeck" monitored by two senior cadets.
        Behind The Quarterdeck's front desk was a spouting water fountain overlooked by a balcony that connected the second floor.
        One night me dino was outside with friends sneaking cigarette smokes when we saw someone run in a crouch from the chemistry lab.
        We got spooked for not belonging where we were, never mind the smoking, and so we went to our rooms.
        About 20 minutes later the hallways became filled with smoke. Someone had dropped what was called a "sodium bomb" into The Quarterdeck fountain from the balcony above.
        That's when me dino learned that sodium and water does not mix very well.
        Me dino never took chemistry. Learned from a kid's chemistry set I received one Christmas that I didn't care much for it.
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      • Posted by  $  4 months, 4 weeks ago
        Oh good grief Doc, every ship and submarine has had a "Phantom Sh@tter" who will do the deep and roll it up (duct tape is usually the weapon of choice) and put it in the trash, an alley way, a hidden spot to be stepped on. Usually frowned upon by command. I work at a high tech company and we just gave safety employee of the month to someone who went in the bathroom and found a steaming mound on the floor. Scatological humor and dysfunction seems to be a constant in society, for some strange reason. I am betting they even have their tales in the Congress, both houses....
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  • Posted by  $  Olduglycarl 5 months ago
    They had to get him off the plane otherwise they could of never landed...all that hot smelly gas made the plane lighter than air...not to mention, one spark and they were toast!

    He would be good to have around a hot air balloon festival though.
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    • Posted by  $  5 months ago
      I just could not believe this even made the news, then tonight there is the woman dog shamed on video for melting down over sitting next to a baby on the plane, her company has fired her. Really..Heinlein was right.
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  • Posted by CaptainKirk 4 months, 4 weeks ago
    Having had severe gas before.. How the heck are you supposed to stop it? (Fortunately, my farts don't smell, LOL).

    But, if it is mid flight, and the bathroom is open, go park yourself for a while, and give the poor people a break.

    ==
    I love all the Military School stories. I just had 3 older brothers... But this is good:

    One brother, quite upset that the other is drinking all the lemonade, except about 1oz and not making more, gets PEEVED. So, he mixes up a special batch. ZERO SUGAR and DOUBLE LEMONADE.

    Next brother comes in, half laughing about fresh made lemonade. Goes to drink a huge gulp. And his face freezes. His throat automatically closed, the tartness kicked in, the horror on his face, he could not even SPIT it out, he leaned over the sink and let it drain out.

    The first brother says "Ooops, I guess I forgot the sugar!", we laughed so hard, we had tears streaming down our face.

    The second brother paid us back. He took our favorite cups (we each had one we used explicitly so mom knew who did not wash their cup), and he circled the rim with a jalapeno.

    That burned the very crease of our lips quite nicely.

    Being boys, it kept elevating until the parents threatened us all with death!
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  • Posted by term2 4 months, 4 weeks ago
    I love the issues over “emotional support” animals people bring to the airport- like hamsters If u need a hamster for emotional support so u can fly, you probably shouldn’t fly st sll
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