Words of Wisdom
It's been a tough few weeks. How about a bit of lightweight wisdom to brighten your day?
Truth is stranger than fiction and more embarrassing.
If you want to learn to drive, I won't stand in your way.
The Three Happy Moments of Life:
1. When you get the last laugh.
2. When you have the last word.
3. When you pay the last installment.
There is nothing that proves human capacity for tolerance as does a Golden Wedding Anniversary.
I went to a Universary where we had a dean who was so dumb even the other deans noticed it.
Children are natural mimics -- they imitate their parents in spite of every effort to teach them to behave properly.
Herbie's Ego Principle: The first madman to have someone imagine he was Napoleon was Napoleon.
The problem with tolerance is that people will think you don't understand the problem.
Why the Government Has Cost Overruns.
(1) It is too early to predict what the program will cost.
(2) It is too far down the road to do anything about it.
Never do card tricks at a poker game.
Children help keep the family together - especially when you can't get a baby sitter.
I remember when a liberal was a person who was generous with his own money.
DAFFYNITION
Eccentric: A person to rich to be called a crackpot.
Recently they took a popularity poll of the Democrats and Republicans, nobody won.
How To Brighten Your Day: Go to a garage sale and you'll realize to know that others were stuck with the same junk you were.
The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted.
Truth is stranger than fiction and more embarrassing.
If you want to learn to drive, I won't stand in your way.
The Three Happy Moments of Life:
1. When you get the last laugh.
2. When you have the last word.
3. When you pay the last installment.
There is nothing that proves human capacity for tolerance as does a Golden Wedding Anniversary.
I went to a Universary where we had a dean who was so dumb even the other deans noticed it.
Children are natural mimics -- they imitate their parents in spite of every effort to teach them to behave properly.
Herbie's Ego Principle: The first madman to have someone imagine he was Napoleon was Napoleon.
The problem with tolerance is that people will think you don't understand the problem.
Why the Government Has Cost Overruns.
(1) It is too early to predict what the program will cost.
(2) It is too far down the road to do anything about it.
Never do card tricks at a poker game.
Children help keep the family together - especially when you can't get a baby sitter.
I remember when a liberal was a person who was generous with his own money.
DAFFYNITION
Eccentric: A person to rich to be called a crackpot.
Recently they took a popularity poll of the Democrats and Republicans, nobody won.
How To Brighten Your Day: Go to a garage sale and you'll realize to know that others were stuck with the same junk you were.
The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted.
Stay away from Negative people...they have a problem for every solution.
And no one has the power
To say just when the clock will stop
At late or early hour.
This is the only life you own
Live Love Toil with a will.
Place no faith in time my friends
For the clock may soon be still.
The lack of money is the root of all evil
Listen to your elders.
A stitch in time saves nine.
Necessity is the mother of invention.
Live your life as if it is your last day.
Socialist liberals are useful idiots.
When it is breezy swing the club easy
When the wind blow swing the club slow
Don't step on the slippery slope.
As above so below
All the girls look better at last call
Democracies fail when they become too democratic.
Several coworkers my age and younger died while employed. Only one got killed at the prison, shanked in the heart.
Two supervisors died of heart attacks. Asked why I never applied to be a supervisor, I named one of them, adding that we were born the same year.
At the academy my class of 82-2 was also told not to let anyone call us a prison guard because there was a lot more to us than goons with clubs. Nevertheless, when I saw a highly ranked female captain being interviewed on TV and saw "S------ P------, Guard," on the bottom of the screen, I couldn't help but LOL. Bet she was fuming!
S.P. was a very good captain, though. Now she's the warden. Having a degree in criminal justice helps with that. I have something else.
Liberalism is when you care enough to denounce those who don't care about being denounced by those who do.
Health care's more about your health than you'll ever know.
Prohibition: The abortion policy of the previous century.
Social engineering is what to do about the child of another man (or woman).
What if the police force took a knee every time an NFL player punched a girl in the face?
Marxism: Everyone else's problem.
Marxist: Professional pro-proletariat professor, into the labor movement, dislikes job.
Che Guevara: Just a face in the crowd.
Should we really care about the foreign policy of foreign nations if we can't even speak the language?
Two things I am sure about: America isn't English. English is American. Learn the language.
The ancient Israelites were probably bat shit crazy.
The war on drugs is confusing for those on military leave.
Hypocrisy is only as deep as the trench you're willing to lie to get out of.
Marijuana policy has come a long way since the days when no one really cared.
Abortion policy: Give Congress three months to decide what do and if they can't come to a decision, force them into a life of bondage.
Prisons are overcrowded. Some criminals are still waiting to get in.
Got energy policy?
(Hard experience caused me dino to think that 'un up and it served me well for about 19 of 21 years as a corrections officer at a maximum security prison.
It wasn't always inmates out to get you.)