14

The Coyote Principal

Posted by Dobrien 9 years, 5 months ago to Humor
40 comments | Share | Flag

The Coyote Principle
CALIFORNIA
* The Governor of California is
jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog, then bites the Governor.
* The Governor starts to intervene,
but reflects upon the movie "Bambi" and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.
* He calls animal control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the state $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.
* He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it
for diseases.
* The Governor goes to hospital and
spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.
* The running trail gets shut down
for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.
* The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "coyote awareness program" for residents of the area.
* The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to
permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.
* The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The state spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training for the nature of coyotes.
* PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million suit against the state.
TEXAS
* The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.
* The Governor shoots the coyote with his state-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.
* The buzzards eat the dead coyote. And that, my friends, is why California is broke and Texas is not.


All Comments

  • Posted by 9 years, 4 months ago in reply to this comment.
    Fence companies sell a type of roller that prevents coyotes from leaping residential fences.
    Cunning creatures as they are opportunistic Predator/scavengers.
    Reply | Permalink  
  • Posted by $ Abaco 9 years, 4 months ago
    I just wrote a short article about coyotes a few weeks ago for our neighborhood's newsletter. We have a lot of them here. Interesting animals. Very smart.
    Reply | Permalink  
  • Posted by NealS 9 years, 5 months ago
    The Coyote Principal. The link is to one of my favorite videos. In fact, yesterday I was telling one on my retiree coffee group about it and you go ahead and post it on the Gulch today. I'm impressed, how do these coincidences work? Maybe it some kind of telepathy?
    Reply | Permalink  
  • Posted by $ Olduglycarl 9 years, 5 months ago
    My word!...I take it, the Texas Governor shot the coyote before it harmed his dog...the only thing I was worried about...

    Ok Dob...how do we inundate the nation with this dichotomy in the hopes of producing awareness.

    It's not likely it'll make the papers or the 5:00 news.
    Posting to facebook and it will probably get bumped by the algorithm...
    Reply | Permalink  
  • Posted by Steven-Wells 9 years, 5 months ago in reply to this comment.
    Dare I add another?!
    * The Environmental Protection Agency fines the state $35,000 for each day that the coyote had been relocated without the EPA’s prior approval and $8 million for a Navigable Waterways Impact Analysis of each puddle created where the relocated coyote had urinated.
    Reply | Permalink  
  • Posted by $ AJAshinoff 9 years, 5 months ago in reply to this comment.
    Soros...the signs there's people carry are seldom hand made, their marches too organized, and they take pictures of the counter-protesters (the Americans) watching on the sidewalks (the ACLU observers are always there at their behest), giving us the finger and shouting reconquista, calling us racists and invaders. I have no doubt most are paid agitators and the rest are hopeful useful idiots and illegals
    Reply | Permalink  
  • Posted by Herb7734 9 years, 5 months ago in reply to this comment.
    I think I could shoot a human miscreant sooner than a dumb animal simply doing as its nature compels it to do.
    Reply | Permalink  
  • Posted by 9 years, 5 months ago in reply to this comment.
    Thanks Suzanne43,
    Shooting, shoveling, and shutting up, also known as the 3-S treatment, refers to a method for dealing with unwanted or unwelcome animals primarily in rural areas.
    Reply | Permalink  
  • Posted by Suzanne43 9 years, 5 months ago
    Super and well said.
    Reminds me of the old saying, "Dig, bury, and shut up."
    Reply | Permalink  
  • Posted by 9 years, 5 months ago in reply to this comment.
    Florida law considers coyotes a “nuisance species.” You can shoot them under the right circumstances but you should be very careful about both legal and practical concerns.
    Reply | Permalink  
  • Posted by 9 years, 5 months ago in reply to this comment.
    Thanks TheOriginalBadBob,
    AUSTIN, Texas -- Texas Gov. Rick Perry has a message for wily coyotes out there: Don't mess with my dog.

    Perry says he needed just one shot from his laser-sighted pistol to take down a coyote that was menacing his dog during an early morning jog in an undeveloped area near Austin.
    Reply | Permalink  
  • Posted by Herb7734 9 years, 5 months ago
    I live in an area on the edge of undeveloped land in Florida that has coyotes. Every once in a while, they wander into human occupied territory looking to scrounge up some easily hunted down like some feral kittens which seem to abound in our area.These animals are 1. not funny, and 2. downright fearless. We have a large contingent of dogs in the area. Everything from a teacup Yorkie to a a huge bull mastiff of some sort. Speaking of the mastiff, he is the only dog that isn't afraid of the coyote's howl, but even he will not chase it away. Somehow he knows that where there's one there's one or two more. My little beagle is pretty fearless but if she smells coyote, she'll not step out of the garage. So, on those rare occasions when the coyotes show up, and Bella the Beagle needs to be outside I'll fire a 38 into the lawn and the noise will turn them around. But note: They don't run off. They saunter off as if to say, "Next time, pal."
    Reply | Permalink  
  • Posted by Technocracy 9 years, 5 months ago
    You missed one consequence in CA

    *The Governor's former bodyguard sues the state for wrongful termination since shooting coyotes is unlawful and is awarded $15M in damages.
    Reply | Permalink  
  • Posted by 9 years, 5 months ago in reply to this comment.
    The media with it's leftist brainwashing propaganda endorses out of control migration to the US. The ignorance the left displays regarding Illegal aliens and the dangers from a black market of human trafficking is a result.
    Reply | Permalink  
  • Posted by mia767ca 9 years, 5 months ago
    posted to facebook under the title..."gotta love this one"
    Reply | Permalink  
  • Posted by $ AJAshinoff 9 years, 5 months ago in reply to this comment.
    I have pics showing the depth of that hatred. Also pics of how the ACLU watched Americans to ensure that the illegals could march unopposed down Phoenix streets.

    Those who sympathize don't know half of what they should about the matter. Those who do know and side in favor of the illegal invasion are no better than the illegals themselves and are part of the problem.
    Reply | Permalink  
  • Posted by 9 years, 5 months ago in reply to this comment.
    Are you near the former 21 mile dam?
    Sightings of a mountain lion that came through the area and some how crossed into Wisconsin ( big river border) the sightings were initially denied until a photo captured the evidence.
    I did see a black bear on the shore from the hiking path up a cliff from the Mississippi River in St. Paul.
    The river bottoms can be pretty wild still surrounded by close to 2 million people.
    Reply | Permalink  
  • Posted by $ allosaur 9 years, 5 months ago in reply to this comment.
    One day on the back gate tower when I worked for the Bama DOC, I heard the Dog Warden on my hand radio during the 90s nervously complain that he had stumbled into and was surrounded by a pack of coyotes and that he was on foot and unarmed.
    I saw him report to the back gate the next day to pick up whatever minimum custody inmates he needed to work the prison produce gardens.
    I retired from the Bama DOC 2003; but as far as I know, he's still alive. And also now as retired like me by now? Highly likely indeed!
    Reply | Permalink  

  • Comment hidden. Undo