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Does this tick off anyone else?

Posted by $ AJAshinoff 7 years, 5 months ago to Culture
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Perhaps I'm just getting intolerant as I grow older. For some time now, a few years, I've taken offense to those robocalls or stranger calls to my home that start with "Hello Allan." I used to argue with them asking "Do I know you?" and then followup by reminding them that "Mr." is the appropriate salutation between strangers and that using my first name shows disrespect. These days, most recently today, I just hang up.

Am I just getting more sensitive in my older age? Is it just me?


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  • Posted by $ Stormi 7 years, 4 months ago
    I think we retirees remember when respect was part of our nation. Now we have a bunch of millennials who know who to con, and you are just waiting for the other shoe to drop, and it always does. I am sick to death of the continuous calls saying they are from Windows. I have asked to be taken off their list, I am on a no call list, but still they call. Now, I am yelling at them, crazy old lady telling them to get lost. Then there are fund fund raisers for liberal causes, and I tell them not as long as Obama is in office, as we old folks have no money. I did actually get one of those national polls this week, name brand, and I was glad to tell them this college educated gal is not voting for HIllary!
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  • Posted by Mamaemma 7 years, 5 months ago
    I think maybe it bothers you because it does show a coarsening of our society. Heinlein said in one of his books, and I paraphrase, that you could tell a society is in decline when courtesy is no longer common. It's the same thing when I am expected to hug a complete stranger when I meet him. I suspect that you and I are old enough to remember a more gracious time.
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    • Posted by lrshultis 7 years, 4 months ago
      Would you prefer a Lotus or a Robot society as described by Arthur Koestler in his descriptions of those nice societies of India and Japan? You are slowly moving toward one with all the pretend patriotism and incipient political correctness along with an increasing dosage of religion rather than a freer naturalistic approach to the Universe. An apocalypse is not nearer when you are addressed in a familiar way.
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  • Posted by mminnick 7 years, 5 months ago
    No, but I do think it may be generational. I object to being called by my first name by strangers and very casual acquaintances. My children on the other hand, in spite of my correcting them numerous times , address people in the familiar way. I notice it in the work place as well, the younger people always initially address by the first name.
    infuriating.
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  • Posted by Dobrien 7 years, 5 months ago
    The thing that I hate is saying hello and then they pick up and expect you to say hello again.
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    • Posted by $ blarman 7 years, 4 months ago
      That's because most of the telemarketing systems randomly dial and only switch the call to a live agent after you pick up.

      My favorite tactic is that if I've already said hello and the called ID says "Blocked", I just remain silent until they speak. If it's someone I know, I'll recognize the voice. If I'm feeling particularly annoyed, I just set the phone down and burn their minutes until they hang up. This one is classic: https://youtu.be/qZYjA8iwbqE
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      • Posted by peterchunt 7 years, 4 months ago
        I pick up the phone and just wait. A robo call apparently requires a voice to activate it. By staying silent, usually after about 20 seconds, the call is terminated.
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  • Posted by tripodics 7 years, 4 months ago
    I despise the so-called title, "Mister" as well as the silly abbreviations Mr., Mrs., Ms., etc. (all of which could be better replaced by "Mx." or simply omitted to avoid needless clutter.)

    The only meaningful use of the term "Mister" is in the military, where it becomes a derogatory term used to emphasize that the person addressed is of lower rank! Perhaps that's one reason why the term annoys me, but my principal objection is that the term is utterly meaningless -- except perhaps to take note of gender (even when that is completely irrelevant).

    I don't particularly like my own first name, but (aside from that) I see no reason to be offended when someone uses it. If my name is being used to confirm identification, then I'd prefer that they used my entire name to do so.
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    • Posted by $ 7 years, 4 months ago
      I think you over think this. Saying any of the titles (the appropriate one of course) is merely a polite way of introduction when you are a stranger to someone and seeking an audience. As stated else where when someone, stranger, calls me by name my immediate response is "Do I know you?" if not they just wasted an opportunity and put me on the defensive. Simple courtesy (not so common apparently) is cheap and easy to extent. Sadly it's sorely lacking in society these days and I think that corresponds and contributes to the "state" of contemporary society.

      My 2 bits.
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      • Posted by tripodics 7 years, 4 months ago
        I do appreciate your thoughtful comment.
        However, I have never regarded the use of the (meaningless) "Mr." pseudo-title as some sort of courtesy. I just don't view as a "courtesy" to prefix my last name by such a meaningless "title". (In fact, I'd much rather be addressed rudely by my last name only than to have it prefixed by "Mr.")

        Notwithstanding the advisories of Dale Carnegie (who famously insisted that most people consider the most beautiful sound they have ever heard to be their own name!), I am even less impressed by hearing a stranger precede my last name by a superfluous "Mr." than by being addressed only by my first name.
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  • Posted by $ Abaco 7 years, 5 months ago
    Yes, you're getting more sensitive with age. And, yes these calls are annoying. But, this reminds me of something. I have clients who act like I'm a robo caller when I call. That gets weird. I tell them who I am, our firm name and they just get real quiet - haha...Overall, people are getting strange...very guarded. I rarely answer a call unless I know who it's from, myself.
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    • Posted by $ 7 years, 5 months ago
      I can't be entirely sure, which is why I asked. I simply see saying "Mister Ashinoff" as a form of respect when you call me unannounced and uninvited seeking information, support or money.

      In a public setting I expect and use "Sir" or "Mr. XXX" or "Mrs. XXX" when talking to someone until invited to be more familiar and expect the same.

      If a vendor approached me, a stranger, and said Allan I have the greatest and most useful thing for you to buy...My mind snapped shut at Allan - disrespectful and presumptuous.

      I notice this behavior of mine more now but can't say when it began.
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      • Posted by $ Abaco 7 years, 4 months ago
        Haha...Yeah, we start getting a little more fed up with age, I think.

        I have a "no soliciting" sign on my door which, of course, often doesn't work. I still with them good luck with their efforts when I send them on their way.

        I did snap back at a religious door-to-door guy years ago. I just said, "No thanks." He had a young trainee with him and the older guy said, "Well, I guess you don't want to be saved today." Without a thought I instantly snapped back, "Who says I need to go to your church to be saved?" Stumped the hell out of him. (The younger guy seemed to be paying attention, too.)
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        • Posted by lrshultis 7 years, 4 months ago
          I come from talkative family and will converse with anyone. With the religious coming to my door, after telling them that I am an atheist and they do not choose to leave, I start a conversation about the contradictions of the Bible and how Jesus chose only those who hated as his followers along with discussions on evolution and sciences. They eventually leave since they, too, do not want to waste their time. I just would like them to get something out of the discussions.
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          • Posted by $ Abaco 7 years, 4 months ago
            I always just ask them if they can recite Proverbs 21:19. They never can. If anything...I admit that one gave me more faith in the Bible, because it's a real inconvenient truth.
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  • Posted by NealS 7 years, 4 months ago
    I think we've already expressed our feeling about this to our representatives at the Federal Government. They've even passed a law, called something like "DO NOT CALL" List and put rules and progressively larger huge fines for those breaking the rules into it. It's unfortunate however that there is no one to enforce it, not even anyone to complain to, except a blind dead end computer somewhere in DC probably in someone's basement. Just another nonenforced law with a bunch of federal employees to manage the concept only. I'm surprised the FBI hasn't knocked on my door or even broken it down for the complaints I have left on that computer. I tried various languages to try to get someone to contact me to no avail of course.
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  • Posted by Eyecu2 7 years, 4 months ago
    I too hate those calls. I however have a different approach. For those guys time is money and the more calls they can make an hour the more likely that they will get a sucker who falls for their line of BS. So I go along with their speal, act like I am completely buying into it. Then when they want credit card information as they inevitably will. I get out my card and read the numbers off WRONG. After several attempts either they loose it or I get someone's credit card into the system but as my name doesn't match and I have no idea what their expiration date and so on info is. They eventually begin to understand what I am doing. This typically makes them madder than hell but it also seems that they NEVER call back.

    Which is what I wanted all along.
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  • Posted by Donald-Brian-Lehoux 7 years, 4 months ago
    Dear Sir
    Proper respect is not dead, it is laying in a coma waiting to be revived. I have been to Ukraine and they young stand for the elderly, people with young children, people in a cast on the trains and buses. They make a wide berth of pregnant women, children and elderly while waling as to not bump them. You are NOT out of line. Look up Chad Prather on youtube for down home common sense.
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  • Posted by Herb7734 7 years, 4 months ago
    Well, Allan.....
    I also used to cross rapiers with them until I realized all they had was a butter knife. Nobody but such callers calls me Herbert. Not even bankers. Just like you, I now hang up. They almost always offer me a service or ask for money. Unless I'm in a mood to amuse myself, the brevity doesn't waste the time I spend doing the myriad things I find enjoyable.
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  • Posted by $ blarman 7 years, 4 months ago
    I was always taught that there was a significant deference and respect that should be shown to people with whom you have only a casual or no relationship at all - especially strangers. Sir and Ma'am are appropriate forms of address for strangers. All my children know to never call someone older than them by their first names unless given specific permission (or they are related). It's the first step in a polite society.
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  • Posted by $ allosaur 7 years, 4 months ago
    I don't give account information on the phone unless I made the call and I'm very careful about that.
    Today I woke up to a 1-800 number call on my Caller ID.
    Man says, "Is this David?"
    Me dino says, "Yeah."
    Man says, "Please help us put Trump in the White House and Hillary in the outhouse. Ha! Ha!" Yes, that laugh sounded as phony as it looks written.
    I told him I've been helping Trump out with mailed donations which is the truth.
    Man says "We know you've been helping Trump"
    I'm thinking a good con artist would say as much as he adds, "With 8 days to go we don't have time to send you mail. So could you help out by donating $200 with a credit card?"
    I tell the man I don't like doing that on the phone and I say goodbye.
    So was the man a Trumpster or a scamster?
    Me dino dunno. Me no have psychic abilities.
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  • Posted by wiggys 7 years, 4 months ago
    more sensitive, no! more knowledgeable so you do the right thing by hanging up. no need to waste your time thinking that they will stop calling. keep up the hang up
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  • Posted by ewv 7 years, 4 months ago
    Most telephone robo-spammers can be avoided by filtering through the nomorobo system https://www.nomorobo.com/

    Wait until the phone rings once before picking it up. If it stops ringing then the call has been blocked and is gone.
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    • Posted by $ TomB666 7 years, 4 months ago
      We have had this for a while and it really works. With any automatically/machine dialed call, there is a single ring and then it is cut off. Because some of the spammers do dial themselves, we always check the Caller ID and never answer an unidentified call. It will go to our answering machine and if it is anyone we want to talk to they will leave a message.
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      • Posted by ewv 7 years, 4 months ago
        The filter works off the source telephone number, not whether or not the call is machine dialed. Checking the caller id is always a good idea because some of the spam gets through. If you are using nomorobo new numbers that you discover can be submitted to the blocklist.

        The spammers had the gall to try to get this service banned by Federal legislation.
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    • Posted by $ blarman 7 years, 4 months ago
      Thanks!
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      • Posted by ewv 7 years, 4 months ago
        Also look at http://spamcop.net if you are having a problem with email spam. You can use it to block spam and/or to submit spammers to their list, with complaints going automatically to the source. I have been submitting spam to their blocklist for decades, partially based on automatic spam traps I set up to trap them. It has made a big difference.

        Reporting the spam often results in their losing their accounts, sometimes before the spam mailing being reported has even completed. Sources that don't deal with the spammers exploiting them (like the spammers' own mail servers) are black-listed and can be easily filtered out.

        The spammers always sell each other 'dirty' lists, but when they discover you are reporting them they tend to stop harassing you.
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  • Posted by edweaver 7 years, 4 months ago
    I prefer being called by my first name and hate being called Mr. It is too stuffy for me but that is a personal choice. But I don't really like being called by strangers.
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  • Posted by $ Olduglycarl 7 years, 5 months ago
    No, your growing intolerance is justified...it's way over the top these days. On my cell phone (which is off most of the time) gets 10 calls from unknowns to one that I know. At home...my caller ID doesn't even know who's callen...think I gona answer it?
    Lately and maybe because I spent years with the cell glued to my ear. I have abandon the phone altogether...don't call me cause I won't answer. I will only talk face to face or read an email from you instead...I am even getting tired with emails... what will I likely dump next? We'll see...
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  • Posted by Jstork 7 years, 4 months ago
    Yes: quite annoying. Once I know they are trying to sell me something, I just say that I am not interested and then hang up. Some telemarketers can keep you on the line quite a while just explaining what they are trying to sell. Often, they are from another country working for an American or European company and just trying to make a living wage. I can't blame them for trying as they are often trying to stay out of the hands of poverty. Capitalism, but annoying just the same.
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  • Posted by XenokRoy 7 years, 4 months ago
    I have ran customer support centers for software companies for a lot of years. This touches on something I find very interesting.

    In EMEA people get upset when you do not use Mr... formality and respect. In the US, they get upset when you do use such formal language. In Australia I am not sure if they even have the term of Mister in there vocabulary.

    Its an interesting cultural shift.

    I cannot say that it bothers me as it does you. I tend to be an informal person more often than not myself so in my vocabulary, Mister is saved for formal settings, and in any others setting it feels stuffy and overbearing to be called Mister or to use the term.
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  • Posted by minorwork 7 years, 4 months ago
    I filled out three forms with the Justice department for the IRS scammers calls with the content and phone numbers. No acknowledgement of my activity from Justice so I quit filling out forms. Imagine my amazement a few days ago to find the ring busted including the India connection and the U.S. connections. Fabulous.
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  • Posted by starbird56 7 years, 4 months ago
    I usually pick it up, then hang it up. Every once in a while, I will mess with them. They will start talking and I will interrupt, pretending I didn't hear. After several rounds of that, they hang up. One that I heard of that I also tried is saying, "It's done, but now there's blood everywhere. What do I do now?" Any of you who are familiar with the weeping angels from Doctor Who, I have that script by the phone also. "Don't blink. Blink and you're dead. They are fast. Faster than you can believe. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't blink. Good Luck."
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  • Posted by hvance 7 years, 4 months ago
    They can call me by my first name as long as they are courteous and that applies to all ages. I prefer first names myself and I'm 71.
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  • Posted by GaryL 7 years, 4 months ago
    I am with you AJ! I figure since it is me and me alone who pays to have this phone and service in my home then I get the right to say who may and who may not use MY phone number. I wish there was a way from my end to lock the offenders line up for 15 minutes so they could not disconnect.
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    • Posted by $ 7 years, 4 months ago
      I think its invasive and disrespectful. I've done the "Do Not Call" route a half dozen times.I'm starting to think that the list is used for who to call rather than not call. It also seems political and charitable calls are exempt.
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