"He Needs Help!" - Covered by Obamacare?

Posted by $ TimCutler 9 years, 11 months ago to Culture
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Several of the talking heads have opined that the NBA owner who dreads the company of blacks should seek medical help for his "sickness." Can it be cured?

Who cares?!

If this "condition" gets a classification number, he (and everyone else who suffers from this illness) will receive treatments which will entitle him (and them) to a variety of highly desirable benefits.

First, such medical expenses can be enumerated on Schedule A. One treatment he should seek is a lengthy vacation to a Caribbean paradise where he can learn how to enjoy the company of blacks. This therapy should be part of a permanent rehabilitation regimen, so any emergent racist inclinations should result in an immediate evacuation to this treatment zone. His (and their) Obamacare coverage should cover the costs. That means that a three million dollar regimen will cost the taxpayers at least a million in lost income tax revenues.

I would also expect him (and them) to be awarded handicap parking tags.

Furthermore, any public or private racist rant can be excused as a manifestation of this "illness" - evidence that he (and they) are not yet completely cured - off to the Caribbean!

On the downside, this diagnosis will probably be forwarded to the ATF and State Police, who will cancel his (and their) firearms permits. We saw this a few years ago with the new illness designated "Intermittent Rage Syndrome." (I don't know whether it actually received a classification.)

In summary, your thoughts and opinions are subject to public interpretation as manifestations of a treatable illness. If your opinions are not "mainstream," you may require treatment. The cure from the NBA this afternoon will probably include a "voluntary" surrender of property (cash, rights, privileges, assets) and a "voluntary" treatment regimen.

So - pick your mental illness strategically. None of us here have "mainstream" views, and we risk being diagnosed with an attitudinal illness. I, for one, will take my treatment at the Gulch.


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  • Posted by $ 9 years, 11 months ago
    Banned for life plus a $250 million fine. Bet they can't make that stick. These are professional moocher stakes. Say something unpopular and your capital is confiscated.
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  • Posted by Hiraghm 9 years, 11 months ago
    Next stop, commitment to a mental hospital for opposing homosexual "marriage".

    It's not enough to *say* you love Big Brother...
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