Helping the FBI
Posted by strugatsky 8 years, 9 months ago to Politics
The FBI seems to be having trouble identifying terrorism/work-place violence/street-side violence and how to deal with it. I have thought hard and long, and have developed a program that will resolve all those problems:
TASK - Help FBI determine the reasons for Muhammad Youssef Abdulazeez
killing 4 Marines and injuring 3 others in TN.
1. Poverty – Middle class by US standards, very well to do by the rest of the world
standards. Recommended action – tax him and others like him into poverty so that
they will fit the expected profile.
2. Lack of education – Graduated from U. of TN with a degree in engineering.
Recommended action – Lower the education standards further to make sure that
others like him fit the expected profile.
3. Racism and racial bias against people from Arab countries.
Recommended action – Bring more people into the US from Arab countries.
4. Religious alienation – Since Muslims are discriminated against in the US, more
Muslim outreach programs are needed.
Recommended action – July should be designated as Muslim Pride month, right/left
after LGBT Pride month of June, to keep the momentum flowing.
5. Malnutrition – Specifically, trace amounts of pork.
Recommended action – Pork has already been banned at the White House and in
school lunches. It needs to be eliminated completely. Need a government-funded
study to create pork-free pork rinds.
6. GUNS!
Recommended action – Arrest, prosecute and convict all guns. Except for those in the
hands of the KGB Homeland Security, police and other government-sponsored criminals.
TASK - Help FBI determine the reasons for Muhammad Youssef Abdulazeez
killing 4 Marines and injuring 3 others in TN.
1. Poverty – Middle class by US standards, very well to do by the rest of the world
standards. Recommended action – tax him and others like him into poverty so that
they will fit the expected profile.
2. Lack of education – Graduated from U. of TN with a degree in engineering.
Recommended action – Lower the education standards further to make sure that
others like him fit the expected profile.
3. Racism and racial bias against people from Arab countries.
Recommended action – Bring more people into the US from Arab countries.
4. Religious alienation – Since Muslims are discriminated against in the US, more
Muslim outreach programs are needed.
Recommended action – July should be designated as Muslim Pride month, right/left
after LGBT Pride month of June, to keep the momentum flowing.
5. Malnutrition – Specifically, trace amounts of pork.
Recommended action – Pork has already been banned at the White House and in
school lunches. It needs to be eliminated completely. Need a government-funded
study to create pork-free pork rinds.
6. GUNS!
Recommended action – Arrest, prosecute and convict all guns. Except for those in the
hands of the KGB Homeland Security, police and other government-sponsored criminals.
Edit:sp
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rd8cR...
(From the Half Hour News Hour comedy show.)
They can wear the same jersey for football on Saturday, hunting on Sunday and during the week at their regular job picking up trash along the highway.
Tennessee has become a big a rival as Auburn.
A color they share? Orange.
I refuse to wear orange or own an orange car.
Heck, I would not have an orange car if Tennessee did not exist.
Auburn's other color, blue, makes no difference to me all by itself or combined with any color save orange.
I once read that OJ is more fattening.
If I'm traveling and OJ is all there is in the morning, I'll drink it.
Jan
There's some related medication he always has to take that will go haywire should he consume any grapefruit product, including my favorite soft drink, Fresca.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rd8cR...
So reminicent of the SNL of the 70s. Alas they are no more, having been retired by drug overdoses, cancer, old age, hollywood success, and socialist madness.
Postive thinkers as you may recall from the pre 1992 days in Russia learned English, negative thinkers learned Chinese. Practical thinkers learned shooting. Marksmanship was practically speaking sometimes spelled with an x.
Directorate of Internal State Security, the new protective echelon has the initials Diss.A convenient Acronym for disrespect. Citizens, Constitution etc etc etc.
Still got that warm fuzzy protected feeling we were promised:?
I work for the DoD and know that most people there realize that we are destroying ourselves. Yet the management invariably follows all orders from Washington to cause the self-destruction and the rank and file quietly submit. This is marching in-step into an abyss.