Galt's Gulch
18

TGIFfunnies: Adult Edition 9/29/23

Posted by $ Olduglycarl 8 months, 1 week ago to Humor
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Been holding on to a couple of these for a while. Decided to just let it fly!

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  • Posted by kddr22 8 months ago
    border security gators, love the idea !
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    • Posted by CaptainKirk 8 months ago
      Unfortunately, once they are fed, they sleep it off. With these numbers... We would need a LOT of alligators.

      I got a better idea. Before we let them in.
      We give them EVERY VACCINE Our children get, through their entire life... IN ONE SHOT.
      That includes The Jab and 3 boosters, and the new FLU shot, and the New Jab, and the new RSV shot...

      We televise this. And we put them aside for 2 weeks. And give them their boosters (Regardless of health status at the time).
      If they survive that... Great, give them a court date.
      The ones that don't survive... Well, they are not exempted from suing the Drug Companies... I am not 100% sure their will be lawyers lining up to take those cases... But I am pretty confident.

      Oh, and we stop giving them a place to live, or money. I think Joe in Arizona had a tent setup for the prisoners... Then after they get their court date, and ONLY if we allow them in... Do they get to go anywhere. And I don't care if it takes 7 years.
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  • Posted by evlwhtguy 8 months ago
    I particularly like the last one. 90% of all pickup truck owners could use a Carolla just as well since they never put anything in the back. The scary thing is....this guy can vote!
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    • Posted by tutor-turtle 8 months ago
      Not me. Every new pickup I've bought over the last 40 years, the shinny new paint lasted about a month before the scratches and dents start showing up. The back window gets punched out within about 5 years from firewood or some such thing getting tossed in a little too carelessly. My new truck is about two years old and the roof is already dented in. Haven't wrecked the tail gate yet. Get it time, it's bound to happen.
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      • Posted by evlwhtguy 8 months ago
        I don't even want to hazard a guess as to what one of those new fancy multi-use step tailgates cost. My son-in-law who's a building contractor and actually uses his truck very heavily his tailgate is electric it cranks itself up and down God help you if you're back into something and damage that.
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        • Posted by tutor-turtle 8 months ago
          Standard old fashioned tail gate.
          Usually what happens is I leave the gate down and back up to a loading dock or pile of gravel and misjudge the distance.
          On my way to pick up a load of stone dust for the patio.
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    • Posted by $ Olduglycarl 8 months ago
      Spot on, hadn't thought about that.
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      • Posted by evlwhtguy 8 months ago
        Funny thing is this "sissy"..... "I can't stand to have anything happen to my big ol manly pick-em-up-truck".... guy, runs the risk of scratching it carrying a board like that!....BTW, before anyone casts aspersions about me, I have a 2006 Chevy crew cab and the bed is all dented up on the inside from hauling firewood! It's a 3rd vehicle for us but we use ours.
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        • Posted by $ Olduglycarl 8 months ago
          Rangers and F150s myself and use em the way they were meant to be used. My current ranger (07) is my F150 now days, quite often carries a Ton of Wood, Rock or mulch. 269,000 on the OD.
          Sold the F150 plow truck with over 500,000 miles on it, still see it from time to time.
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  • Posted by mccannon01 8 months ago
    Ah yes... a smorgasbord of goodies! Thanks OUC!

    Get that new border patrol up and running. Too bad about Kit, LOL! I have to agree about the no mosquito season.
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    • Posted by $ Olduglycarl 8 months ago
      Go easy on the "Beaver" Tonite . . .
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      • Posted by mccannon01 8 months ago
        LOL, yeah we laughed about that in high school back in the '60s. Amazing it's still relevant! You'd think the modern generations wouldn't get it.
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        • Posted by $ Olduglycarl 8 months ago
          Wonder how that one got started.
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          • Posted by mccannon01 8 months ago
            High school boys? Really? LMAO
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            • Posted by $ Olduglycarl 8 months ago
              Responses from the interweb, put your drink down for the first one ;

              1) My understanding was that it was because they both "eat wood"

              2) Etymology Online offers that beaver in the gynecological sense is British slang dating from 1927, transferred from earlier meaning "a bearded man" (1910), or from the appearance of split beaver pelts.

              3) Therefore, pubic wigs, called merkins, were manufactured for the prostitutes. These merkins were made out of beaver pelts. Hence the term beaver.
              Note: some "Merkins" were made in the shape of a Triangle!
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              • Posted by TheRealBill 8 months ago
                Ok gotta share how I learned the word “merkin”. This seems an appropriate time. 😁

                So there we were, a bunch of cavalry scouts stationed at fort hood on an afternoon with nothing going on and not in the field. So I come up with the bright idea of opening the dictionary to a random page and random word on the page. Then we add that word to our vocabulary. Yes this was actually well received.

                So the third or fourth word was merkin. You can imagine what a bunch of bored recon soldiers thought of that word and how we burned it into our vocabulary.

                We were informed a day or so later we were not to play that “game” anymore or at least not unleash what we learn in formation on command officers. 🤣
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  • Posted by 73SHARK 8 months, 1 week ago
    Lots of good ones here.

    One of my border solutions is to dump piranhas upstream and catch them as the Rio Grande exits TX and take them back upstream. Rinse and repeat..

    Another is to put the razor/concertina wire out in the middle of the river.

    The alligators/crocodiles would work also.
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  • Posted by $ allosaur 8 months, 1 week ago
    Making up Schiff about the weather's future to make us fill up with pricey foreign oil instead of drilling our more than ample own, to create inflation and to try and make us all buy EVs should be called Climate Deception.
    If I were doing sign language behind "Big Guy," I'd be using middle fingers.
    If I were a space alien, I'd fly past this planet too.
    Kinda weird that me dino was thought of stocking the Rio Grande with alligators earlier today. Crocodiles may be better. Now I'm thinking about a couple of piranha horror movies I saw in the past,
    Bet I could carve that space alien french fry with the right tools and a piece of wood.
    That last meme must be about a rare Democrat who drives or rides in a pickup truck.
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