Aw, don't sweat Schiff, folks. For Biden announced, "I laugh at China now being able to nuke any country on this planet. Hey, China, take THIS!"
Anyway, that's what Biden managed to mumble on his sixth try. Then after a whole bunch of careful editing finally made our president sound both intelligent and coherent, he trotted our new Trans Admiral Rachel Levine out from behind a curtain where he had been spending time with whoever pulls Biden's strings.
Don't worry, our POTUS is instructed to never go make that curtain call.
After the admiral curtsied and Biden sniffed her perfumed ear while whispering sweet nothings, more editing had to be done after Biden gave a Chinese food delivery person he mistook at President XI one helluva fearsome talking to.
Because our president said, he said, "AURGH!" he mightily bellowed, tripping over his own feet. And then also said, he said, "Listen, Jack, our new trans gender admiral is fully armed and operational! You got that, Jack? If you cross us, we will unleash the full fire and fury of this deadly weapon upon you, Jack. Make no mistake, Jack, that's no malarkey!"
Admiral Levine was not available for comment due to having to hurry off to get her prostate examined.