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Pelosi To Preemptively Impeach Candence Owens

Posted by $ allosaur 3 weeks, 2 days ago to Humor
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Don't worry, this Babylonian Bee satire isn't really happening. Well, maybe NOT YET.
Keep in mind now a private citizen former President Trump is currently being unconstitutionally impeached in a hopefully forlorn hope that it may prevent him for running for another four-year term even against the will of We The People.
I've read speculation about this impeachment opening the door of a clown car for future impeachments with both Democrats and the GOP impeaching each other all willy-nilly.
The only upside to that is such zany activity is it distracting legislators from passing more abusive laws.
Still, that wouldn't stop the Thief-In-Chief from signing more stacks and stacks of executive orders written by his Marxist handlers.
As for Candance Owens, she~(think Pelosi screaming, "OMG! No!")~a conservative black woman and a wonderful orator announced that she's considering a presidential run just last week.
As for what the Left may try and do about that . . . well, the door is now open for the "preemptive impeachment" of politically ambitious private citizens.
SOURCE URL: https://babylonbee.com/news/pelosi-announces-articles-of-impeachment-against-candace-owens-so-she-can-be-banned-from-running-for-federal-office


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  • Posted by Lucky 3 weeks, 2 days ago
    Teams of lawyers and computer graphics artists have begun work on pics showing Owens without the secret black-face, denying The Holy Carbon Science, dropping poisonous HCQ capsules into the mouths of starving child migrants, building walls to prevent access to friendly viruses, spreading misinformation about Chairman Xi's Peace Prize nomination, and leading the notorious charge of far-right libertarian racist gun lovers in the Capitol invasion.
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  • Posted by 25n56il4 3 weeks, 2 days ago
    Candace Owens isn't old enough to run for President! But it would be a good idea.
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    • Posted by LameBear 3 weeks, 1 day ago
      If the democrats don't care about the requirement of "Natural Born Citizen" ... why should anyone car about the age requirement.
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      • Posted by $ 3 weeks, 1 day ago
        For one thing, Candance Owens is not a Democrat.
        Therefore, for not being at one with the entitled ruler elites, all dinky rules such as laws fully apply to her.
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        • Posted by $ Thoritsu 3 weeks, 1 day ago
          Isn't it funny the "entitled" is now the term for these oligarchs rather than the "rich Republicans"?
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          • Posted by $ 3 weeks, 1 day ago
            Entitled was definitely how Cackles Clinton The Evil Hag felt~~all the more so when during the last fair presidential election Orange Man Bad was perceived as snatching away her entitled throne to keep her glass ceiling intact.
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            • Posted by $ Dobrien 3 weeks, 1 day ago
              Fact checkers (me) indicate the only entitled are the leftist entitled. They can say and do anything without repercussions. Example: Joe Biden won the 2020 election with the most votes ever after siphoning .33% of every Trump vote . Or I solemnly swear to uphold and defend the constitution of the USA from enemies foreign and domestic ....while they say shut up and give me your guns and no opening your small business.
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              • Posted by $ 3 weeks, 1 day ago
                Yes, trust Quid Pro Quo Beijing Joe of the "10% for the Big Guy" Biden Crime Family to honor and uphold that oath taken with a hand on that big ceremonial Bible.
                Also expect our elite Thief-In-Chief to appear on TV with an ash cross on his forehead when Ash Wednesday rolls around. I noticed that was his Holy Joe annual thing to do when he was Vice President. Whoa, just hit me. That's also how he showed up at a primary debate when all them Dem candidates would always refer to Orange Man Bad as "the racist Donald Trump" with the exception of Tulsi Gabbard.
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  • Posted by $ DriveTrain 3 weeks, 1 day ago
    My first impulse was to say "Oh, that's a conflict (more like: arse-kicking) I'd dearly love to see," but when you think about it, that'd be a little like the Wright brothers responding to belligerence from a flea.

    But...Fantasy Island material as it may be, Candace Owens as President... hmm...

    - I'm thinking George Reisman as Secretary of the Treasury and Fed Chairman and chief economic advisor - with the second of these positions eliminated after he phases out the Fed itself;
    - Alex Epstein as Secretary of the newly-combined departments of Energy, Interior, HUD and Agriculture, until such time as all four of them can be eliminated entirely;
    - Robert Bidinotto as Attorney General;
    - Lt. Col. Allen West as Secretary of the newly-combined departments of Defense, Veterans' Affairs and Homeland Security;
    - C. Bradley Thompson as Secretary of the newly-renamed Department of Education Privatization, tasked with the immediate imperative of overseeing the reversal of the Zinn/Gore indoctrination crisis;
    - Elon Musk as Secretary of the now-combined Departments of Commerce and Transportation, through their phasing-out and dismantling;
    - David Kelley as Director of the Central Intelligence Agency;
    - A task force comprising some good eviction / property-reclamation / real estate experts, to fill the temporary office of Ambassador to the United Nations - to prepare the newly-emptied property on lower Manhattan for commercial/residential use.

    Oh, the possibilities! But bottom line: Any friend of Alex Epstein is ipso facto a friend of humanity. And Owens is a refreshingly zero-BS thinker in any case.
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  • Posted by $ Snezzy 3 weeks, 1 day ago
    This is clearly an opportunity for Nancy P. Lossy as well as for combinatorial mathematics. Instead of selecting individuals to impeach, she should preemptively impeach everyone on the planet except herself and perhaps a few select others. This action would be quite Constitutional. It would not be a Bill of Attainder, like the current impeachment attempt, and it would prevent the necessity of additional impeachments until those yet unborn reach the age of 35.

    Butt weight, their's moar. The Constitution, bless its little soul. does not specify anything about the line of succession for the Throne of the United Kingdom, so Nancy could add that in as well, and for the first time in over 235 years reunite the American Colonies with Mother England.

    Remember, you heard it here first.
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