My Annual Christmas Pun

Posted by Herb7734 4 years, 4 months ago to Humor
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A man goes to his dentist and complains that his upper plate is rotting away. It is crumbling to bits. The dentist asks him if he has had a change in his diet lately. The man replies that yes, he has. His wife has been making a lot of Hollandaise sauce and he loves it. The dentist smiles as he says, well now I know your problem. Hollandaise is corroding your upper plate because it contains a lot of corrosive and acidic things such as lemon juice. "I'll make you a new plate out of chrome". "Why chrome?" the man asks. "Because there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise. replies the dentist.

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  • Posted by bsmith51 4 years, 4 months ago
    On 3 separate occasions, a railroad passenger agent in Bulgaria made horrible mistakes, accidentally killing passengers. The first, he closed a door on a passenger and accidentally strangled him. He was tried and convicted of negligent homicide and taken to be executed. "Any last request?" asked the guard, and he said he only desired to eat a banana. Following that, he was hooked up to the electrical system and the switch was thrown. The lights dimmed and the circuits buzzed, and the poor man shook a little but, after a minute, nothing had happened. By law the railman was then released.
    He went back to work for the railroad. Before long, though, he made the serious error of seeing 2 passengers off the wrong side of the train. As they stepped off they were struck and killed by another train.
    Once again the man was charged, convicted and sent for electrocution. But after eating 2 bananas, everything stayed the same. The switch was thrown to no effect.
    Again, before long, he made another grievous mistake and several passengers died. And again he found himself before the same guards and executioner. "Before we do this, we want to know how eating bananas seems to make you immune from electrocution."
    "Actually it isn't the bananas," said the man, "You see, I'm just a bad conductor."
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    • Posted by 4 years, 4 months ago
      The hunchback of Saint Cecilia like his counterpart at Notre Dame was the church bell ringer. However, he rang the bells by running full speed into them with his head. One day he missed and ran right over the bell tower and to his death. A crowd gathered around, everyone being curious about this poor fellow with the curved back and smashed up head. Finally a gendarme looked at the corpse and the crowd asked him who the dead man might be. "I'm not sure," replied the gendarme, "But his face, it rings a bell."
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  • Posted by bobsprinkle 4 years, 4 months ago
    Just like good little dummy/commie crats. One little pun and everybody wants part of it.
    Sorry folks, no harm intended. I just couldn't resist.
    But, I suppose there could be issues of ownership of the original.
    I think I'll go back to the MEMES. They make more sense.
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  • Posted by Steven-Wells 4 years, 4 months ago
    You've failed a primary rule of jokes and puns. Place the punchline at the end! Not a little before the end. (And never at the beginning unless it works alone as a punchline without the rest of the joke. Like, "No nurse Johnson! I said to prick his boil.")

    Rewrite it next time as:
    The dentist replies, "Because there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise."
    See, that's better.
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