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Sunday Funnies

Posted by Herb7734 2 weeks, 6 days ago to Humor
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I used to believe that aging is all in the mind. Which explains why brains are so wrinkled. In my youth, I was the picture of health and very physically fit.

These days my joints noisily creak and grind whenever I move. A sinus condition causes snoring loud enough to wake my neighbors.And, my stomach rumbles like a cement mixer.

I've gone from a sound body to a Sound body.


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  • Posted by  $  Dobrien 2 weeks, 6 days ago
    Three old men were sitting around talking about the problems with aging.

    The 80-year-old said, "The best thing that could happen to me would just to be able to have a good pee. I stand there for 20 minutes, and it just dribbles and hurts. I have to go over and over again."

    The 85-year-old said, "The best thing that could happen to me is if I could have one good bowel movement. I take every kind of laxative I can get my hands on and I still have problems."

    Then the 90-year-old said, "That's not my problem. Every morning, at 6 a.m. sharp, I have a good long pee. And at 6:30 a.m. sharp, I have a great bowel movement. The best thing that could happen to me would be if I could wake up before 7 a.m!"
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    • Posted by 2 weeks, 5 days ago
      Well, I could give those elderly fellows some good advice. I have had all of those events and found a cure to them all. Cars simply replace worn out parts. Humans are just figuring that out. In the meantime there are remedies.
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  • Posted by 2 weeks, 6 days ago
    Things I've Noticed with Aging:
    After you've made your mark in this world, a lot of people will come around with erasures.

    Health without wealth is also a sickness.

    Creditors have better memories than debtors.

    When your dreams turn to dust; Vacuum.
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  • Posted by  $  Olduglycarl 2 weeks, 6 days ago
    The best thing that could happen to me is to NOT LOOK SO UGLY!

    Back in my day, there wasn't a pretty girl I couldn't Woo! They'd always come a runnin when I smiled...now days, they're still a runnin...AWAY!

    I still do all the things I used to, just not as quickly,
    But smarter now with no wasted movements and
    I feel ok, I don't need those improvements,
    It's just the outer shell that's lookin icky.
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    • Posted by 2 weeks, 5 days ago
      I completely understand.In some parallel existence I remain 19, no matter the appearance.
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      • Posted by RevJay4 2 weeks, 3 days ago
        Its the mirrors fault. I don't seem to look like I think I look. The mirrors tell me different and keep me reminded how many miles are on this old (78) vehicle. Along with muscles and joints that don't work like they once did. Bummer.
        Yep, 18 or 19, somewhere in that paralell existence.
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        • Posted by lrshultis 1 week, 6 days ago
          You can add another nine months to that old vehicle for when your were gestating. Not sure when a conscious self develops in order observe all those changes. The one I don't like is the waking up some mornings to find another week has gone by and it is time to put out the trash again. When my grandfather was a 100, he said he would wake up some mornings and another year had gone by.

          The trouble with a parallel you in another universe is that you only can live in one of them, so make the best of this one.
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