How To Give Porch Thieves A Bang For Christmas

Posted by $ allosaur 6 years, 5 months ago to Humor
32 comments | Share | Flag

Me dino put this into humor because watching thieves scramble off in a panic is very funny.


All Comments

  • Posted by $ 6 years, 4 months ago in reply to this comment.
    You have me suddenly thinking of buying a "No Trespassing" sign if just to be used for an argument in civil court.
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  • Posted by $ nickursis 6 years, 4 months ago in reply to this comment.
    Exactly, although I remember your Book of Eli reference, I could not see how they fell for it.
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  • Posted by $ nickursis 6 years, 4 months ago in reply to this comment.
    This is so illustrative of why we have these cretins roaming around (aside from failing to enact good eugenics laws), the cops do nothing, and then tell the poor homeowner he is libel for anyone getting hurt stealing his stuff, and next is the idiot who falls off the porch and gets paralyzed and sues him for 20 million and wins. Easier to step outside with Mr Winchester and let off a round in the air. If you are trespassing, you have abrogated all your rights and protections, IMHO.
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  • Posted by term2 6 years, 4 months ago
    I have guido quietly sleeping on the porch until he detects strangers and runs up to meet them. If they pass his test, he licks them. If they don’t pass his test, he chases them off the property.
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  • Posted by $ 6 years, 4 months ago in reply to this comment.
    Don't have a fireplace for Santa. When I lived a short time out in the boonies, I'd burn such stuff in a metal barrel.
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  • Posted by CaptainKirk 6 years, 4 months ago in reply to this comment.
    We have a friend in TN who gets on EVERY mailing list (Snail Mail), and collects what he gets to start his fires in his fireplace!
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  • Posted by Dobrien 6 years, 4 months ago in reply to this comment.
    The trees on the berm got green,
    And the lurker was no longer seen.Lol

    I bet that stuff was slippery.
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  • Posted by $ 6 years, 5 months ago in reply to this comment.
    I like your gate. Glad I clicked on an arrow to also see the "Vote All The Traitors Out!" sign. Yeah, we ain't done yet.
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  • Posted by Exitstageright 6 years, 5 months ago in reply to this comment.
    Several years ago, when I owned a tool company, and I lived out in the country with no trash service, I would bring home once a week a big empty contractor grade compressor box. I would fill that box with trash bags filled with the most vile garbage, including dog poop and kitty litter, I had. I was always careful about throwing away anything in that box that had data/addresses in it. Than once a week I would go into town in my pickup with that sealed, taped shut high dollar looking compressor in the P/U bed and go to the mall. I only had to leave the truck for 20 minutes tops, and when I got back, my garbage was gone.I eliminated a trash p/u fee and gained an immense sense of satisfaction.
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  • Posted by Dobrien 6 years, 5 months ago in reply to this comment.
    It doesn't seem that long ago now but in the late nineties we used to have lets say an explorer who used to after dark lurk behind our back yard fence. I wanted to put out a trip wire and a cop friend said that was a no no, at the time We had 2 Golden retrievers so I started spreading the dog dirt on the berm .It seemed to have worked.
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  • Posted by $ 6 years, 5 months ago in reply to this comment.
    Trump voter me dino has never messed with any freedom of speech sign in anybody's yard.
    I do like to draw Hitler mustaches on photos of Democraps I get in my mail. That's because my mail is my mail~even if I do surrender much of it to the garbage truck on Thursdays.
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  • Posted by $ 6 years, 5 months ago in reply to this comment.
    When I told my brother about those cops taking reports but not making arrest, he just said, "Of course."
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  • Posted by CaptainKirk 6 years, 5 months ago
    Side notes. Wait until this guy SUES for hearing loss!

    I kept having my Trump signs stolen, so I was going to hide RAZOR Wire along the bottom, so when they ripped it upward, they sliced their hand open... I was warned I would be charged and liable! (Which is sad in and of itself)...

    I resorted to coating the signs in vaseline! We could tell they tried. Days later, they just stomped the signs. Now I have a couple of Cameras. And I will be considering the "Electric Fence" style protection of the signs!

    Also, they have this bird grease stuff (it really stinks, and is hard to get the smell off of you/your clothes). I am thinking of that too. Noticeably, the Hillary signs were NOT being removed... Probably better people on the other side in that case!
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  • Posted by $ Radio_Randy 6 years, 5 months ago
    So...who will be the first to face a lawsuit for when some bottom-feeder lowlife falls down the porch steps, trying to get away?
    Personally, I like the scene in the movie "The Book of Eli" when Eli and Solara arrive at the porch of an elderly couple...
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  • Posted by LibertyBelle 6 years, 5 months ago
    I have had a policy of notifying the Post Office that I
    do not want any packages left on my porch; just leave a notice, so I can pick it up. (That was before I moved into the subsidezed place where I am living now, where the mailboxes are inside the house). And, believe it or not, the package was still left once. I got it that time, luckily, but I notified them that I do not want any more of that stupid practice.
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  • Posted by $ gharkness 6 years, 5 months ago
    Such a "wuss"-y fix. Where is this guy's imagination?

    In my HOA group, we are actively involved in a plot to fill one or more fake amazon boxes with dog poop - LOTS of very stinky dog poop. This has been a very big problem for our neighborhood this year, and we are completely fed up.

    They haven't discussed adding a small explosive charge, though, because indeed, that could cause some legal problems. Too bad those who participate won't actually get to see the eventual result. Would be fun! Most of us have door cameras as well, so a great opportunity to get images of the miscreants.

    PS just as an aside, some of our neighbors have picked up images of people circling the neighborhood 3-am-ish, using high-pitched whistles to identify which houses have dogs (the whistles hurt their ears and makes them bark), to presumably avoid those...then taking their time stealing from the rest.

    And for gawd's sake don't leave your garage door opener in your vehicle if you have to park it outside.
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  • Posted by $ 6 years, 5 months ago in reply to this comment.
    Isn't it hard enough on the poor cops that they have to interview victims, view any footage, wirte reports and properly file all that stuff away?
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