The Happy Eater and His Neighbor
A cautionary tale.
Once upon a time, there was a man named Mr. Everyeater. He loved eating chili dogs, pizza, ribs, and lots of butter. He was happy and played and enjoyed everything his whole life. Next door lived Mr. Healthyeater. He was very slim, he ate lots of raw veggies, and not a single fat passed his lips. He didn't have much fun. He lived a very long life, but in the end, he wondered why.

By now Hansel and Gretel had been lost in the deep dark woods for a few days. On the brink of starvation they came upon a quaint little cottage. Upon investigation they noticed that the cottage was made from low carb gluten free carob. The curtains in the windows were lettuce leaves the door and trim was made of milled carrot stick and the roof was arugula. They were both very surprised and Gretel spoke first "dood, I dare you to eat some of that stuff" and Hansel replied, "Hey, I am so hungry I could eat at Hardees, but only a witch would build a mess like this."

Bravo!

(I gotta admit, I liked both the iPlate of doom & the good hood fairy... had me laughing my butt off. "Do I look like M-F- Tinker Bell?" Of course, it's not aligned with the dictates of the first lady's "eat what I tell you" program, so it would never fly... unlike an iPlate...

Think I'll make some beef and potato stew tonite. Sounds yummy!

I love this.

Grandson: Grandpa is it true that if I don't smoke, don't drink and don't fool around, then I will live longer?

Grandpa: No but it will sure feel like it.