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I Met Toohey's Intellectual Daughter Today

Posted by $ SarahMontalbano 8 years, 1 month ago to Education
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I've had quite a day. My father invited several of his friends over, and they brought their grandchild. Usually, I am a kid person; I like their curiosity and their playfulness. I didn't think until today that I would truly loathe a 6-year-old child.
She is a spoiled brat. She has been raised with an iPhone, a iPad, a Leapfrogger, and everything she wants on a silver platter. I was assigned to the unfortunate task of entertaining her while the adults talked.
First, I invited her to look in my room, in order to get her out of the living room. In the hallway, she saw my collection of stuffed animals (which I don't touch, but still love dearly) and begged to have some of them. I said no, over and over, and finally got her into my room, where she saw my large collection of medals hanging on the walls. She gasped and said, "Wow, you won all of that!" I was starting to forgive her because she admired achievement when she asked, "Can I have one?" I was pissed. I looked her in the eye and asked:
"What did you deserve to get a medal?"
She paused for a second, then said:
"I never win ANYTHING!"
Isn't it crazy that this spoiled little girl thought that was an adequate explanation? It's even crazier that in a mere 24 years, this girl could become a senator and start advocating for the newest plan of ultimate equality: "achievement redistribution."
After that, she begged to have some of my other toys; I surrendered two model cats, a unicorn, and a jolly rancher in order to shut her up. I felt guilty for my toys, like I had betrayed them by indulging her selfishness. It was hardly 10 minutes later that she lost interest in them (although she revived later in order to play with me for two. straight. hours). I wonder how long my beloved toys will stay intact? A week, maybe? She doesn't appreciate the kind of emotional investment I put into my toys as a kid. She didn't even thank me.
Although that was the worst part, we went downstairs and started drawing pictures. She was bossy and entitled. She kept saying things like, "We're having fun, right?" "I'm so glad you're my friend!" "Aren't you having fun?" A phrase of Ayn Rand's kept popping into my mind: sanction of the victim. I kept trying to evade the questions, hoping not to give any verbal sanction, although I felt guilty that my actions gave her a green light. All the while we were coloring she kept trying to go back up to my room; hoping to cheat me of some more of my toys, I'm sure. After I told her, frankly, nothing would make me give up more of my possessions, she said:
"How about a hundred dollars?"
I asked her what on earth a little girl like her needed a hundred dollars for. She explained that she bought things for her friends at the school store. It didn't surprise me at all that she had no respect for her parent's money, and that she thought I could be bought. I told her that some things were priceless.
After she left, I went upstairs and practiced my violin for an hour. I drilled some scales, etudes, Mozart passages, all in order to forget about it and swallow the guilt and helpless rage for my toys and my time. I was angry that she took so much of my time away, time I'll never get back and could have invested into productive endeavors. I had so much to do today; my favorite teacher's birthday is today; I was going to make a cake to show him how much I appreciate his teaching. I still need to write program notes and study for a test. Most of all, however, I was given The Romantic Manifesto as a belated birthday gift. I was dying to read it all of today.

She was a nightmare and I still feel horrible, but right then I was appreciative of the upbringing my parents gave me. I was taught the true meaning of money. I was taught to be polite and to value honest interactions with other people, and not electronics. Most of all, I was taught the value of achievement and hard work.

If you made it to the end of this, congratulations! I apologize for writing so much. To all grandparents and future grandparents: Although you may have limited time with your grandchild, do your best to prevent them from turning into this hellish little girl. Parents: You are the ones with control. Teach your children your values. I pity this girl, because she wasn't taught any better. Don't let the public schools spoil your precious child's ideology and mind. Take their learning into your own hands and teach them in Ayn Rand's footsteps.


All Comments

  • Posted by Dobrien 8 years, 1 month ago
    My oldest son was a challenge through out most of his pre adult life. He learned early on how to play mom and dads different disciplinary approaches in a manipulative manner to reach his own objectives.
    The result was a very frustrating relationship.
    He wasn't spoiled he just wasn't meeting his responsibilities. He had manners and was not a trouble maker. In his mid 20's he met his soulmate, he became responsible, now he is the father of 2 handsome wonderful boys. He exhibits the best qualities of his mother and dad. I am very proud of him ,his hard work, dedication and devotion to provide for his young family. He is consistent in teaching his boys 1 1/2 -- 4 years old manners and it shows. I believe that we were good role models and that every individual matures at different rates. The responsibility examples provided consistently offer the best long term parental results. A six year old is just starting to learn and her poor manners likely a reflection of manners not taught or emphasized to her.
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  • Posted by term2 8 years, 1 month ago in reply to this comment.
    I agree. Makes no sense trying to convince an irrational thinker to be rational
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  • Posted by khalling 8 years, 1 month ago in reply to this comment.
    it sounds like she is a little piece of work. But, she is still 6 and if her parents and teachers reign her in, she may change. She certainly seems precocious- a girl who needs to be steered to interesting books to read and interesting things to do -take all that electronic away! gah!
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  • Posted by $ MichaelAarethun 8 years, 1 month ago in reply to this comment.
    However be prepared for the following. Brat comes bouncing in and says I was so happy we were visiting again. You are the only person that pays any attention to me and made me feel wanted...

    Which is quite likely the case. If so don't feel guilty but see if you can exploit the opening to effect positive change. It's one of the challenges adults face on a daily basis.,
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  • Posted by $ 8 years, 1 month ago in reply to this comment.
    I've looked at this before. Do you know, if I am not selected for a scholarship, would I still be obligated to come? My parents are already paying for three trips this summer (two a science trip, one a family trip) and it would be impossible to go without financial assistance.
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  • Posted by $ 8 years, 1 month ago in reply to this comment.
    Very clear, logical thinking. At the beginning, I didn't realize she'd be such a brat. I should have, however, given her back to the grandparents for a while. As I said to rockymountainpirate (I think it was him), I will be making it clear the next time they come over that I will not be interacting with her whatsoever. It felt so wrong.
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  • Posted by $ 8 years, 1 month ago in reply to this comment.
    That's very true, from the context you read about; the conversations I did not mention between her and I were essentially her trying to manipulate me into giving up more toys. When I called her out on it, she responded: "Just kidding!" If I hadn't kept her totally supervised she would've tried to steel them (I believe). It was a very poor choice to let her into my room at all. Edit: Very good clarification, khalling, thank you!
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  • Posted by $ 8 years, 1 month ago in reply to this comment.
    I haven't yet, and I'm wasn't planning on bringing it up until the next time Dad mentions they're coming over. Then I'll request they leave the little monster home.
    She took them home with her, unfortunately.
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  • Posted by $ 8 years, 1 month ago in reply to this comment.
    My cousins were like that as little kids, but they've grown out of it. They're still good Democrats, but they don't ask spoiled anymore. We used to be extremely embarrassed to go out to restaurants with them.
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  • Posted by $ 8 years, 1 month ago in reply to this comment.
    That is a good suggestion; if I'm put into the same situation again, I will try to be more consistent in that regard. It was the one moment of weakness I had during my interaction with her.
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  • Posted by $ 8 years, 1 month ago in reply to this comment.
    Thank you john, my emotions were so full of pity. I hope she grows out of it, but past observation of our society is not encouraging.
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  • Posted by blackswan 8 years, 1 month ago in reply to this comment.
    Norway isn't far enough away. The same ideas are taught there, too. While teaching a class, a student brought up global warming. I pointed out that that's not a fact, and pointed out some facts to support my argument. If it had just been her, I wouldn't have put in the effort, but with a class full of people, I needed to put the kabosh on flaky thinking. That was then followed by a discussion of Malthus, and I pointed out that the fact that his predictions didn't occur proves that he left out at least one important variable (viz., innovation), and he hasn't been proved correct for over 2 centuries. Her response was that, even though his ideas have been incorrect for over 2 centuries, he might be right in the future. I argued that the only way for that to happen is for people to stop innovating; that point left her unmoved. That was a case of someone needing to be "right" in spite of the facts. You will run into folks like that. My suggestion is to only challenge them when they spout off in public, where others can be influenced by what they say; we must do everything we can to limit the damage.
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  • Posted by blackswan 8 years, 1 month ago in reply to this comment.
    The only thing that gives them a chance at "getting" it is consistency. You cannot weaken your standards for any reason, or you've lost. That's the toughest part, because you must be completely ruthless about that. Rather than giving her some of your toys, you should have had her do something to earn them. Build the connection between work and achievement, earning and effort leads to accomplishment. It doesn't have to be much. If she had sung a song, or shown some skill in arithmetic, that should have been sufficient for her to overcome her "I never win anything" conversation. You might have had a breakthrough during those two hours, rather than an ordeal to be survived.
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  • Posted by johnpe1 8 years, 1 month ago
    you were subjected to abuse because that kid was
    totally spoiled, like so many people -- not just kids --
    these days. . this is cultural rot, and it permeates this
    society from kindergarten to Harvard. . the students
    who "deserve" co-miseration and a "safe place"
    because someone chalked a candidate's name on
    the steps at school are suffering from the same
    character deficiency as this young girl. . so sad.
    they have had access to reality stolen from them.
    I feel for your loss, and hers, Sarah. -- john
    .
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  • Posted by $ Stormi 8 years, 1 month ago
    Refreshingly honest, delightful. It reminds me of myself many many years ago. Having had a dad who modeled objectivist thinking, I was raised to be responsible and civilized before school age. I was taught the value of things. Our daughter was raised the same way, but had the entitlement teaching of government schools -VERY HARD to undo. She did learn that you do not ask for things and you do not disrupt restaurants with howling. That one really gets to me, as parents sit and ask the howling child what more they want. Take them outside and say you will get nothing until you ask calmly! Even a toddler is capable of calm communication, something beyond instant gratification. Our daughter now has two kids, and is beside herself with the horrible values and entitlements they come home with. She says she now knows what I went through, always going in and telling teachers to teach responsibility along with rights, not just grant rights.Your story reminds me of when my cousins, all 11, would be set loose on our house during visits. I hid my stuffed animals and books from them, forbid them to be near my horse. I had learned respect and took care of my stuff, they would get out of the car and be on the roof of our house in seconds! I would not put my horse through such disruption. In contrast, my grandpa was raised poor, little money for toys. So, when he was 80, he passed on his childhood dog statue he had from an early age. He knew I understood what it meant to him and would cherish it for the joy it had brought him. Thank goodness there are still young folks like you, who may share what rational living is about.
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