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Honey or Vinegar, which is appropriate when arguing

Posted by dbhalling 9 years ago to Culture
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Some people complain about how I argue and that I show anger and disgust. They believe I should take the advice of the saying “you will attract more flies with honey than vinegar.” So when discussing Obama or Environmentalists I should say they are misguided. I should patiently lay out the facts and not say that Obama is a thief, liar, and he is pushing ideas that killed over 200 million people last century. And when discussing environmentalism I not point out that Rachel Carson lied about DDT, that she is responsible for the deaths of over 100 million people, that they want to put people like me in jail for telling the truth that global warming prophets have lied repeatedly about the temperature data. Or that I should not say Obama lied when he said you could keep your doctor, that there are in fact death panels and a good friend of ours is being denied a cancer medication because of Obamacare. I should not point out that the communists such as Obama want to steal everyone’s retirement account or I shouldn’t call them thieves and I should not complain about their desire to tax people’s wealth. I should stay quite when they call me racist and say all our problems are the result of white European males. Or I should not point out that environmentalists want to kill 5.5 billion people and I should not call them evil for this.

It seems to me that they can have several motivations for wanting me not to point these out or not get angry about them. One is the belief that by talking nicely to people like Obama, Rachel Carson and their supporters you can convince them of the error of their ways. While pointing out that they are evil and despicable will turn them off. The fallacy in this approach is that these people are reasonable or have any interest in reason. The Jews could not have talked Hitler out of the gas chambers and ovens. Perhaps one Jew might have been able to save himself, but they could not have stopped Hitler by sweet talking him. The same is true of Stalin and Mao. Now they might argue that Obama is not Stalin, but they would be wrong. The US is a police state and while this has happened over time Obama has accelerated it, and if he had the power he would be happy to round up all the white European males and put them in concentration camps. He had been clear that he agrees that people who do not swear allegiance to the Global Warming gods should be thrown in jail. He has shown that he believes it is just fine to use the tax system to destroy political opponents. He is evil and you cannot use logic, reason, or sweet talk to change him or his associates.

Two is the belief that if you have reason, logic and evidence on your side there is no reason to get emotional about people who want to kill off 95% of the world’s population, or want to destroy the world’s economy with fake science. I call this the Spock fallacy after Spock on Star Trek. It is irrational to not show emotion if you are faced by unspeakable evil. It would be one thing if this was being advanced by a crazy street person, but to see it advanced by people high up in government and academic positions is particularly horrifying and the only logical reaction is anger and disgust.

Three is the belief that other people are watching my conversations and therefore I need to appear to be the nicer person in the debate. For instance, I am having a debate with a global warming advocate and they suggest the data has never been manipulated or they suggest I should be put in jail for not believing. I am supposed to calmly disagree and say their intentions are worthy, they are just wrong. A third person watching this exchange is most likely to side with the person who is morally disgusted, not the one trying to play nice.

The problem with the world is not that I point out the irrational evil movements that are being propagated, or that I show anger and disgust at these movements and their proponents, it’s that not enough people are mad about these issues.


All Comments

  • Posted by MinorLiberator 9 years ago in reply to this comment.
    Thanks Zen I'll check it out. Scary.

    But I went to Catholic school. Can I get a "Good Angel" stamp instead of a gold star?
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  • Posted by $ MichaelAarethun 9 years ago
    Nicely put. Depends on your objective. If you want to execute flys by all means use honey. Gets them in the target zone. Once swatted use the vinegar to clean up the mess then forget about them. Concersation doesn't enter into it just a fast left or right SWAT!

    Good post I'm adding a thumbs up especially for seeing the Rachel Carson comment. LBJ eat your heart out.
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  • Posted by johnpe1 9 years ago in reply to this comment.
    simplistic genius? . well-focused fuzzy logic? . no,
    erudite soliloquy. . or prugliness? . maybe eagerniscience? -- j
    .
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  • Posted by $ jlc 9 years ago in reply to this comment.
    Apparently their was a Rocky and Bullwinkle episode called "Ruby Yacht" that was a parody of Omar's poetry. No, really. I mean it.

    Yes, I got it. You have a real talent for consistent oxymorons.

    Jan
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  • Posted by johnpe1 9 years ago in reply to this comment.
    Rocky? . Bullwinkle? . aren't they in a geico ad?
    seriously, I didn't watch them either -- too leftist.
    did you get "timely anachronism"? -- j
    .
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  • Posted by $ jlc 9 years ago in reply to this comment.
    Your comment was at the head of the line. I had to look up Omar and the Ruby Yacht - I did not watch Rocky and Bullwinkle as a child and had not heard about it.

    Great start to a morning!

    When I first read the Rubaiyat, I had thought that "confute" meant "reconcile" not "disprove". I think a bit of that definition is still circling around in the depths of my subconscious.

    Jan
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  • Posted by $ puzzlelady 9 years ago
    A magnificent manifesto, DB! I can only try to guess what encounters you’ve had to bring you to this point.

    As I have frequently mentioned, ideas and beliefs take on lives of their own, utilizing the brain’s sensory and conceptual integration. Ideas can sense opposition and agreement, and trigger an emotional response. Emotions are diagnostic tools, value judgments. A person’s incredibly complex palette of nuances responds in proportion to the effect an agreeable or disagreeable encounter produces. Agreements may feel reassuring, comforting, like confirmation bias or a friendly glow. Disagreements can launch a storm of controversy.

    Notwithstanding that rational people don’t live for the approval of others, there is no getting away from the fact that a child learns from the earliest age from feedback from others. Yes, no, don’t, stop, etc., all express approval/disapproval, and that is how the child builds up its whole set of rules for life: emotionally tinged feedback.

    Humans are sensitive to the reactions of others to guide their behaviors. When debating ideas where people have opposing views and divergent premises, each in the defense of their own ideas, emotions enter and may take over, producing more heat than light.

    A dispassionate onlooker may well compare them to two dogs in a fight, growling and barking and even making threatening moves. The more agitated, the louder the voice becomes, partly to overcome the other by sheer force of personality and partly to intimidate, a throwback to our not-so-distant animal past.

    When anger enters the scene, reasoning steps back. Yes, it is tremendously frustrating when one’s best-presented case does not seem to have the desired effect. At some point mutual name-calling and put-downs take over where checking of premises and reciprocal comparisons should obtain. In extreme cases, people will kill the body to kill the mind.

    The Socratic method (minus the hemlock) can be useful in digging down to the premise, the assumptions your debater holds even after you have presented the facts. Keep questioning until their argument ties itself into a knot with its own contradictions. Berating them upfront for not knowing the same things you already know just puts them more on the defensive.

    Most people place a high value on being right, so they appreciate when a mistake is pointed out without condemnation so it can be corrected. Your passion for reason, scientific truth and philosophical integrity may be too rich a brew for some people; it needs to be dribbled in like vinegar in salad dressing, not drunk by the glassful.

    Probably the single most powerful essay I ever read (Ayn Rand aside) was in my second year of high school. It was about Reasoning and Rationalization. Knowing the difference has made all the difference in my thinking. People are incredibly inventive in their rationalizations to protect their faulty ideas. Religious rationalizations are among the most egregious.

    There is indeed a limit to how long one can try to push through that density without giving up one’s equanimity. Just consider how much of your time and energy such people are worth.

    There’s another fellow who can take only so much from benighted arguers when a line is crossed. Treat yourself to 9 minutes of Tim Minchin: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LkJEp2Tb...
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  • Posted by johnpe1 9 years ago in reply to this comment.
    Omar must have meant the "bring to naught" meaning,
    the old one. . invalidate or disprove is listed as the
    current meaning. . interesting!

    where exactly did he hide his ruby yacht, after all?
    it would be worth a zillion, today!!! -- j

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  • Posted by $ jlc 9 years ago in reply to this comment.
    You are right. I probably intended 'conflate', but I have 'confute' in the back of my brain and that is what came out. (I made acquaintance with that word from Khayyam's verse about wine: "The Grape that can, with logic absolute/ The two-and-seventy jarring sects confute /". Evidently I was thinking about the 70 jarring sects represented on this list.)

    Thank you for your correction and your comments. I like neat words too.

    Jan
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  • Posted by johnpe1 9 years ago in reply to this comment.
    Jan, I am impressed by your use of the phrase,
    "talking with them" because it co-aligns with my
    view of trying to "think with" or "make love with"
    someone -- to complement their life and become
    a part of it. . convincingly.
    and you might want to substitute "conflate" for
    "confute" above. . I keep a file of "new words"
    and had to go after confute.

    Thank You For Your Calm, Reasoned Thoughts!!! -- j

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  • Posted by johnpe1 9 years ago
    you are right, Dale, and Thank You!
    I try to use the most clever and memorable words
    to counteract the arguments of the proponents of
    evil, yet my good sense and verbal innovation only
    goes so far. . the pain of having our freedom stolen
    so systematically never subsides. . I just have to
    cry out in response.
    Thank You again!!! -- john

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  • Posted by $ Thoritsu 9 years ago
    Great post. I think both approaches work along with a change in tempo during the discussion, at least on those listening, or mildly interested in the truth. Some progressives/liberals/zealots have been lied to and were not smart enough to glean the truth, often since they assume the widespread acceptance among people and media is a suitable crucible of truth. Some of these people can be swayed.

    My favorite argument to present nowadays is "If you seek to control me, to limit my freedom by law, and therefore force and gun, the burden of proof is on you to be overwhelmingly right." Few argue this point objectively, even if a minute before they were rattling their sabers for a CEO's firing, building codes or gun control (the note about enforcement of laws by guns is particularly eye-opening). Then simple contradictory facts find purchase.
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  • Posted by 9 years ago in reply to this comment.
    HI OA,

    I prefer to write books instead of individual arguments, because there I can layout the whole case. In my non-fiction books I am always civil, not a civil as you but civil.
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  • Posted by 9 years ago in reply to this comment.
    A favorite technique of the left and now the right is just to throw a bunch of different facts and arguments at you always shifting. Then somehow it is your job to show each and everyone of them is wrong. Then they make up new lies
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