Is Expecting less of self or life the key to happiness?

Posted by $ Olduglycarl 6 years, 8 months ago to Culture
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A Doctor Explains His Prescription for Happiness

In the article the women's age or generation was not revealed. If she was a Millennial, that would be understandable. They have been taught that they are great with no evidence what so ever that they possess any greatness...whether they actually won or failed at anything was a moot point in their upbringing...they were doomed to be disappointed.

However, what about everyone else...are normal Americans just geared to expect more of themselves?;...and to what extent do we expect more of our selves? By who's definition?..this might be a key aspect as well.

I think it all comes down to knowing your strengths, what your good at, your essence and what activity causes you to be happy. One's "Friday Night Essence" so to speak. (what activity do you have to be dragged away from in order to engage in your favorite activity on a Friday night.)

Many of us, eventually figure this out but millennial's were blindsided from the start. They were never allowed to just observe, enjoy or engage the world on their own when young either.

But, perhaps the prescription is correct in the sense that one should not just sit on one's collective butt and worry, obsess or indulge in self pity.

Looking on the bright side and appreciating the little things, nature and doing or trying something new is always a good thing.

[Now, if we were talking about government...expecting less of a government charged with doing very little in the first place, would make me...ecstatic! However, with a government that has assumed to do more than what it is charged with doing and epically failing every time...one has no choice but to expect less until we fill it with people that expect more from themselves...and can deliver!]



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  • Posted by $ allosaur 6 years, 8 months ago in reply to this comment.
    Being rich and famous isn't the road to happiness for some people. Some seek mental health care and/or blow their brains out and/or overdose liquor and/or drugs.. Such stories are always in the news.
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  • Posted by $ blarman 6 years, 8 months ago
    Whatever goal you set your sights on you will achieve. The question is whether you set your sights on the stars, or that hole in the ground.
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  • Posted by gafisher 6 years, 8 months ago
    Don't "expect" anything. Demand what you earn - no more, no less - and learn from what you get. But above all, don't set low goals so you can be sure of hitting them, set high goals - even exorbitant ones - so you'll always be stretching yourself.
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  • Posted by $ jbrenner 6 years, 8 months ago in reply to this comment.
    I just read a section of Galt's speech last night that addressed this particular point specifically.
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  • Posted by $ 6 years, 8 months ago in reply to this comment.
    Post Script: Ct just had it's party primary election for Governor etc...A last minute, unknown business outsider, just won the Republican vote.

    Might we finally go the way of the nation and defeat the leftist's hold on my state. Hopefully the cities won't ruin this moment in time.
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  • Posted by $ 6 years, 8 months ago in reply to this comment.
    It's mankind's finest example of Mutuality and the willful or automatic, sharing of abundance. It not only heals the wounds of the recipient but also boosts the immunity against injuries for the giver.

    I've noticed some of those "Highlights" in your paintings...they say much in your favor.
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  • Posted by Dobrien 6 years, 8 months ago in reply to this comment.
    I can be very rewarding to gift on your own terms.
    To me it is a stroke to highlight on the canvas of life .It helps complete the masterpiece of a life well lived. Thanks for your story:)
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  • Posted by $ 6 years, 8 months ago in reply to this comment.
    Yes it is, on both of your points...Mark Hamilton calls that Happiness, that satisfaction: Value reflection...reflecting upon the value created. One can rightfully claim that proud reflection by the results of the value created.

    Lately I have been explaining to people why biblical worship or just plain appreciation is so important for the one that creates value...it allows one that created the value to reflect upon it's creation. (it's a private thing, not worn on one's sleeve).
    I use an example I remember from my past:

    Imagine your next door neighbor has a beautiful flower bed in front of their house. They spend a lot of enjoyable time taking care of it. People walking by the house always comment positively on her flowers.

    One night, some young hoodlums destroy it for kicks. The next morning, she is devastated and loses all interest in her beloved hobby.

    Observing this, you decide to secretly replace the damaged flowers during the night as best you can. (she would never accept your generosity if she knew). The next morning, the lady comes out to get her paper and can't believe her own eyes...the flowers grew back!?, it was all a bad dream? or some unknown miracle happened?...she runs around jumping for joy, tears of happiness fall from her eyes. Every passer by gets a joyful earful as she tells the story...mean while, you silently watch this from your front porch, you feel happy for her and glad you took up the cause. You reflect, in real time, the consequences of the value you created. It is profound and so touching that it doesn't matter if anyone knows it was you that replaced the flowers...her appreciation is more than enough reward for your actions.
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  • Posted by $ 6 years, 8 months ago in reply to this comment.
    My guess, from the article, was that she wanted to be something she wasn't cut out to be, no essence or natural ability to do it.

    She just wanted to be something for the sake of being that thing. Her idea of success did not align with her natural abilities.

    That is what discovering one's Friday Night Essence was all about and likely it is the last thing one expects or thinks they want.

    Mine was writing...never would of guessed. Fortunately for me, I had many essences and interests but all and all, learning, researching and writing makes me the happiest.
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  • Posted by Dobrien 6 years, 8 months ago
    Thanks OUC,
    Good post +1. High Expectations for your self is what we all should strive for. Those expectations of happiness ,satisfaction and pride are the rewards for planning and executing a well reasoned course of action to achieve a need or goal.
    High expectations of behavior from others is a potential disappointment with unhappy feelings.
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  • Posted by mminnick 6 years, 8 months ago in reply to this comment.
    That may be true. I think that if you really want something and you lack the skills or determination to get it you can:
    1. Learn the skills and drive on or
    2. Develop self discipline and get the determination to get the skills and drive on toward what you want.

    You can always improve yourself unless you are in some way physically prevented from improving (injury, illness etc)
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  • Posted by $ 6 years, 8 months ago in reply to this comment.
    I think the idea was that her expectations were unrealistic compared to her will or skill to achieve them.
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  • Posted by $ 6 years, 8 months ago in reply to this comment.
    Life may deal one hardships and obstacles but one's happiness is up to one's self and overall, helps one deal with life's twists and turns.
    So in a sense, they are interdependent.
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  • Posted by mminnick 6 years, 8 months ago
    Expecting less and getting happiness is a sign of being a looter. Why would expecting less of yourself do anything other than lower your standards for everything. Eventually you expect nothing of yourself and thus have to depend upon others to provide for you since you don'r really giv a &^%$ about yoursdelf or others and can survive if others don do for you.
    Expect less is a really stupid concept.
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  • Posted by $ 6 years, 8 months ago in reply to this comment.
    That was my take as well...notice though, she was depressed because she hadn't achieved fame or notoriety...those things usually bring you problems.
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  • Posted by mshupe 6 years, 8 months ago
    Isn't the title question a package deal? Conflating two unrelated concepts into an incoherent idea that sounds good? The expectations of life half is deterministic. The expectations of self half is romantic. Happiness can only be achieved through rational pursuit of individual values, the romantic side that only we can control. Or is something amiss in my analysis?
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  • Posted by DeangalvinFL 6 years, 8 months ago
    Expecting less of life is probably quite wise.
    Expecting less of self is a road to hell (in my opinion).
    Whatever joy there is, it will primarily be you putting it there; or you noticing and enjoying it.
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