Here are my five (REAL) tips:

1) Greet each other with a kiss, hug, and loving look when you get home. This is far more important than hair or makeup (you've seen each other right after waking up after all!). Taking 30 seconds to enjoy a little physical contact can do much to ease the strain of the day.

2) You've both had long hard days. So sit down and enjoy a good home-cooked meal (you can't fake the secret ingredient of love) and talk over everything. Listen to your spouse - both the good and the bad. Most of the time (looking at husbands especially), your wife just wants a sympathetic ear. Then do the dishes together. (Men) You might be surprised just how romantic this gesture can be. ;)

3) "Five minute" clean-up time. This is for the children right before dinner. They get assigned some area to clean up and it has to be done before they are allowed to get up to the table. This must be a routine every day. There's no reason why those most responsible for making the messes shouldn't have to help clean them up. Even small children can help by picking up toys or emptying the dishwasher. (This also combats the entitlement mentality so prevalent in today's youth.)

4) Divide and conquer. Traditional roles and responsibilities aren't out-of-date, they're common-sense division of duties. Men take out the trash and mow the lawn and women do the laundry because it is the most efficient. Agree on who is going to be the primary for the major tasks then adjust as circumstances demand - including hiring a temp if someone gets sick.

5) Say thank you for even small things. It's a gesture not only of politeness, but recognition of what the other has done for you.


And as a bonus:

6) Learn how to say "you may be right". Arguments and disagreements will happen. This simple phrase can bring the tone of the argument back down to rational discussion by acknowledging the other person's assertions without unconditionally caving. It opens up the conversation by emphasizing that you are honestly listening and trying to see things from the other's point of view (as long as you aren't faking it) without dismissing your own opinions.

(This last one was given to me by a marriage psychologist whom my mother-in-law paid for me and my then-fiance to attend prior to our marriage. It has been an invaluable source of wisdom and marital harmony in my 20 years of marriage.)

If you consider each other's needs and wants to have a better relationship , you will have a better relationship.
I call it maintenance and oh yes love.

I don't see anything wrong with these suggestions except for the one about him saying out all night. Wouldn't. It be great if only one parent needed to work to support a household.

The old joke...A woman's place is in the home, and she should go there right after work. My husband loves that one. Of course he has knuckle bumps all over his head.

An admonition not to complain even if the husband stays out all night would not tempt me to attempt to change my spinster status.
(More than 50 years ago my grandmother told me about locking my grandfather out because he
stayed out too late, [I do not know when the inci
dent actually took place] and making him stay out of the place the rest of the night. After which,
he said he would rather be kicked in the "hinder"
[German immigrant town, although he was actu
ally born in the U.S.A.], than locked out all night
like that, whereupon she said "All right," and gave
him such a kick).--I am glad to find that the "Tips"
were a fake.

Anyone that thinks these practical tips for a stay at home wife are over the top should look at the insane crap being spewed today in the name of feminism. "Toxic masculinity." "man spreading," hell, the list of truly insane ideas seems endless. I saw yesterday a story in the WoPo about some guy taking classes in how to act castrated to appeal to the feminist ball busters that surrounded him is DC.
The PCBS world of feminism today is straight out of a SNL skit gone wrong.

I'm going to go right to the matter...sex (and other matters)!

After a relatively short time, in a relationship, a partner's eye begins to wander. I noticed this throughout a (small) number of extended relationships, while I was still young. Maybe growing up, with 7 siblings, exacerbated the "absence makes the heart grow fonder" issue, but I believe it happens to everybody, at some point.

After nearly 40 years of marriage, I've found that I have to frequently "remind" myself that my wife is just as attractive to me now as she was when she was in her 20's. I still ogle her, when she undresses for bed and make appreciative comments if I see her step out of the shower. Those, combined with an occasional wolf whistle, have extracted frequent comments of appreciation from her and have kept our relationship strong.

I guess my remarks really should reference "How to be a good Husband".

I actually enjoy "Leave it to Beaver", although I wish the mom was smarter. Remember they even had "finishing schools" in the day for girls. Watching soe old movie, our daughter then about 7, said she did not want to "be finished."
My husband and I bot worked, I took time out to stay home with the daughter, then I went back to work when she was a teen.I am glad I did stay home and was able to catch the nonsense the public schools were feeding in place of academics. She loves "Beaver" to this day, which were then in reruns. Too many of her friend had families which did not eat together, did not talk at the table (cell phones) and did not share things from the past, like music, literature, movies. To this day, my husband and I kiss when one of us leaves the house, we talk over what each of us wants to do and plan eating out around it.It is just common mutual appreciation. I do not pick up what he piles on the floor of his office, I did not pick up after the kid once she knew better. The kid is grown, but the dog has to settle down or go in his crate at dinner. Nobody has "a place" in the pecking order, but we each have our own computer rooms, mine filled with books and his with sports-related and accounting books. I think there was a mutual respect back in the day, which is not a bad thing for today. Put the cell phones away, you are not that important!

Most southern girls know these things already. I had an employee that helped me keep things rolling with my family, when my 4 kids were little. It was nice to keep things in order, when I did not have time. But when my ER doc husband came home from his 24 hour shifts, we were all respectful of his need to regroup, eat and rest.
Just mutual respect from a spouse that worked only day shifts.

From a woman's point of view, these ideas are proven to give a good life if the husband loves his wife.

Actually, if you remove the word "wife" and replace it by "mate" or "living companion", its not bad advice at all.

Back in those days, the women typically didnt work, so they were in charge of the home and the children while the men brought home the bacon. So both the husband and wife "worked" really, and after dinner both could relax with the children.

Nowadays, both husband and wife work, so they both prepare dinner (if they know how....). Not sure what happens with the children people seem to 'want' during the day, but they are probably farmed out to a "daycare" place.

I do think that everyone should know their "place" in terms of how to treat other people, something that is TOTALLY lost today. Just look at the way drivers act on the roads to see that. Courtesy is gone.

I am from the" Beaver" era but I don't see a wife adhering to these rules very long. A mistress, however, will in the hopes of becoming a wife and not having to do it any more.

Grrrrr.

Jan

Aside from content, I think the point was, How do you feel? We see the puppy ads, the poor children ads and we react to our emotions. The next time I get in a policy discussion, rather than rely on facts, I need to get to a persons emotion to win them over.

This is a decent summary of The Total Woman from the 70s. It reads easily. It sounds like something from another planet to me, but it didn't seem illogical. She liked nurturing, and he like being an attorney. I'm cautious about "nurturing" becoming a duty to sacrifice, but I have no problem with it if that's what people like.