Sing to Gilbert and Sullivan's classic
I Am The Very Model of a Modern Major General

http://aristodes.deviantart.com/art/M...
I am the very model of a social justice warrior
I want to ban free speech from each and every college corridor
I know I'm a progressive, and I think that I'm above reproach
And on the rights of others I've no shame at all when I encroach;
I'm very well acquainted too with all matters grammatical
I understand which words are fine and which are problematical,
About the gender theories I'm teeming with a lot of lies ---
With innacurate claims about the behavior of college guys.

I'm very good at victimhood and blaming the establishment,
I know how to protest to bring about a change in management;
In short, I want to ban free speech in every college corridor
I am the very model of a social justice warrior!

I know our trumped up narratives, Anita's and Brianna Wu's,
I'm always full of nonsense, such as that of Arthur "bomber" Chu's,
I quote in many soundbytes all the crimes of the patriarchate,
Especially those which have something to do with that GamerGate.
I can tell easily mansplaining from privilege checks and fat shaming,
I know how to paint someone as quite guilty of victim blaming,
Then I can say that we should ban all offensive comedians,
And if we do not get our way, we'll practice disobedience.

Then I can tell you how and why all disagreements trigger me,
And how to build a safer space where differences I'll never see;
In short, I want to ban free speech in every college corridor
I am the very model of a social justice warrior!

In fact, when I know what is meant by "white washing" and "bigotry",
When I claim that all men are truly guilty of misogyny,
When such affairs as Mizzou state and at Yale University,
And when I get enraged at the lack of "proper diversity",
When I have learned what progress has been made to push the narrative
That we are disadvantaged, absolutely and comparative.
In short, when I will find a way to declare that I'm victimized,
You'll never find a figure on the internet that's more despised!

For my lack of any knowledge, with my logic quite contortionate,
Has given me intellectual power disporportionate;
But still, I want to ban free speech in every college corridor
I am the very model of a social justice warrior!