I just can't be serious about this article. I imagine being involved in this. I would go like this:

Suppose the National Electrical Code (NEC) says you can use 14 gauge wire for 15A circuits, but in schools you must use thicker 12 AWG. But when we asked parents, they said the 12 AWG wire didn't make them feel like the school cared about kids' well-being any more than 14 AWG did. What to do? What to do? The only option, of course, is to try to get the NEC to change the requirement, maybe requiring10 AWG. The lead author of the survey though comes up with a brilliant idea: Maybe the school could create its own rules in addition to the NEC. Maybe they could survey parents and find what type of wires makes parents feel safer. I bet blue-coated wire would work because blue is soothing.

blarman already summarized the serious points.

Less salt-more sugar. Less sugar, more salt. Less fat, more artificial goop that tastes like fat. The appeal is to tastes that have been bred into humankind since they came down out of the trees. The only difference is that no edible in nature has the quantities of fat, sugar, and salt that is in one Fritos chip. They are foods designed to be addictive, and they are. But trying to regulate their content, especially among children is spitting into the wind..

I made it through 12 years of government schools without ever having a school with vending machines. When schools put in those machines, they see dollar signs for themselves. Nutrition or need to let kids eat are not the driving force. My daughter had a third grade teacher who convince the principal, that having kids bring in healthy snacks would help them learn. Well, the kids' test scores, for the advanced placement, where it was tried, were lower that years than those of other students. Worse, while the kids munched on carrots and such, the teacher ate chocolate cake at her desk! Another trip to the school for me that year! I am sure the kids were hungry for snacks after the current crop were eating school lunches designed by Michelle O, who pigs out on nachos herself!

Yet another reason to demand the federal government get out of the education and nannying businesses.

maintain perspective here...the existence of public (govt) schools is the primary question here...it needs to go away...private education ensures the best education and choice...

When I was forced to go to the public schools, I remember that my mother packed a lunch for me, and THAT was what I ate. I think that was a better idea and we should return to it.

Junk food isn't healthful? We must do something about this immediately!
https://youtu.be/uTmfwklFM-M?t=6s

I'll put my serious thoughts in another comment.