A Memorial Day Laugh...the cosmo knows we need one.

Posted by $ Olduglycarl 7 years, 11 months ago to Humor
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Muslim martyrs get delicious surprise instead of 72 virgins
It's 72---------? You won't believe it...so swallow your slurpy and be prepared for a qut laugh...


All Comments

  • Posted by Dobrien 7 years, 11 months ago in reply to this comment.
    That's tasty, hickory smoked that is. I just yesterday took advantage of the Hillsdale College
    Offer of a online course Constitution 101.
    A course that is required to graduate from Hillsdale. I will look for section 1 of the13th amendment Thanks for your insight.
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  • Posted by $ allosaur 7 years, 11 months ago in reply to this comment.
    I don't have a favorite but I am partial to anything."hickory smoked."
    Awaiting my slow cooker are three bottles of "Kraft slow simmered Hickory Smoke Barbecue Sauce" that I bought on sale Sunday.
    Know all about CYA and Dirty Harry at the end of Magnum Force saying "Every man has to know his limitations" just after he lets his evil boss get blown up in a car at the end of that movie.
    Keeping that that movie line in mind helped Officer Dino from getting in over his head throughout the years.
    Some time check out out how only a convicted criminal is still supposed to be a slave (with no rights?) in Section 1 of the 13th Amendment.
    Ha! Plenty more about the Constitution being ignored these days. .
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  • Posted by Dobrien 7 years, 11 months ago in reply to this comment.
    It is called cover your ass. It is a result from electing all these lawyers. They have perverted the Justice system. Judges (promoted lawyers) are part of the club. It is in my industry as well. With law suits and no personal responsibility for behavior ex: saying a disgusting thing about a loved one should result in consequences like a boot in the balls.
    By the way is your favorite BBQ sauce a secret?
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  • Posted by $ allosaur 7 years, 11 months ago in reply to this comment.
    Oh, they do NOT lose their rights, at least not all of them. Inmates became federal writ writers when inspired by the Civil Rights Movement of the Sixties.
    Training a state corrections officer pretty much concentrates on the state not getting sued.
    In Alabama you start out being trained at the corrections academy in Selma for eight weeks in sort of a paramilitary boot camp. I saw people quit and get sent home.
    One week a year is devoted to annual training where I repeatedly heard that a "block of instruction" about a particular subject "passes liability over to you" as in talking to me in a class.
    What does that mean? I'll give a simple example. I walk up to an inmate who is mouthing off about how good my mama was in his bed, I pull my baton and knock his eye out.
    #1. Verbal abuse is a reason to write an inmate up, not to strike him.
    #2. Deliberate head strikes with a baton is forbidden and even an accidental strike can get you in hot water, especially if the inmate sues.
    #3 I've been trained to know such things. This is documented by training records. An inmate's lawyer would still try to go for where the real money is while the DOC would be pointing at me, saying, "It's all his fault and we have documentation to prove it. Documentation that he even signed."
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  • Posted by Dobrien 7 years, 11 months ago in reply to this comment.
    My mouth is watering , ribs are delicious.
    What is a southern Bama Dino's favorite BBQ sauce?

    The conversion of many black people to Muslim started in the late 60's early 70's ; Remember Cassius Clay and Lew Alcindor.

    When in prison, the prisoner has lost his rights and freedom. That's the punishment for being felonious. That goes double for murderers and people who "railroad" innocents unjustly.
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  • Posted by $ allosaur 7 years, 11 months ago in reply to this comment.
    Almost forgot but I just ate a 1 ounce box of Great Value California raisins and kept count while occasionally saying, "Allah Akbar."
    Wasn't gonna count 'em until I read what you wrote.
    The count? 76! Pretty darn close!
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  • Posted by $ allosaur 7 years, 11 months ago in reply to this comment.
    Oh, I forgot, he doesn't like onions in his salad either. Yay! ( :
    Had to put a slab of spare ribs in the freezer when I was invited to eat somewhere else at the last minute on Memorial Day.
    I'll drown them in a slow cooker with barbecue sauce when I'm in a spareribs mood again.
    Won't be long since I love 'em.
    Recall Muslim inmates complaining when pork was served back when I was a corrections officer at a state prison.
    On two separate occasions I heard two different Muslim inmates say the exact same thing with the same pregnant pause~
    "I don't eat . . . swine."
    I never met a Muslim inmate who wasn't black.
    The prison had a group of white guys who successfully sued to grow a Native American garden for proclaimed religious reasons.
    One day a real Native American inmate showed up, who said, "I don't want anything to do with those phony Indians."
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  • Posted by $ 7 years, 11 months ago in reply to this comment.
    Why don't we start a new "Brand" of raisins!...
    Call it simply...72 Raisins...
    why wait when you could have heaven now...
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  • Posted by $ Suzanne43 7 years, 11 months ago in reply to this comment.
    Hey, I like that. I told my husband last week that the next time that I bought raisins, I'd buy the package of small boxes, open one up, and count the raisins to see how many were inside a box. If there are seventy-two then problem solved... couldn't beat that for an omen. But we could always add or subtract, they'd never know.
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  • Posted by Dobrien 7 years, 11 months ago in reply to this comment.
    I hear you oinkin' allosaur .
    Now pork is another story. From one animal we get ham ,bacon, pork chops. roast, spare ribs , tenderloin, sausage. salami.
    I'll trade you my raisins for the bone from a ham.
    I will simmer it for hours and make pea soup, and share the soup with you too. Yum
    PS its great to dine with your son isn't it?
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  • Posted by $ allosaur 7 years, 11 months ago in reply to this comment.
    Meanwhile, let it be known via loud speakers and/or dropped leaflets that we're treating them to their virgin raisins ahead of time.
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  • Posted by $ allosaur 7 years, 11 months ago in reply to this comment.
    One box per murdering martyr each containing precisely 72 raisins.
    This would be followed by pulling the trap door to hell.
    Surprise!
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  • Posted by $ 7 years, 11 months ago in reply to this comment.
    Maybe they do have intense respect for raisins...cause they sure don't have respect for virgins in this world...
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  • Posted by $ Suzanne43 7 years, 11 months ago in reply to this comment.
    LOL, So I've got this picture in my head about the Muslim martyrs lining up in their heaven waiting for the virgins and getting handed those little boxes of raisins instead. The looks on their faces are priceless.
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  • Posted by johnpe1 7 years, 11 months ago
    let's see ... I have had raisins and I have had virgins;;;
    both have their virtues, but raisins are nowhere as
    tricky and worthy of intense respect! -- j
    .
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  • Posted by johnpe1 7 years, 11 months ago
    let's see ... I have had raisins and I have had virgins;;;
    both have their virtues, but raisins are nowhere as
    tricky and worthy of intense respect! -- j
    .
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  • Posted by Herb7734 7 years, 11 months ago
    In the spirit of the post:
    A jihadist blows himself up. When his consciousness returns he realizes he is in heaven . He looks arounf for his 72 virgins. There are a large number of people just distant enough so he can't make them out. One man breaks away from the crowd and walks toward him who looks a lot like Thomas Jefferson. The Jihadist whines, "Where are my 72 virgins?" The man slaps him hard across the face. "No, you fool," he says, slapping him again, "You don't get 72 virgins, you get 72 Virginians."
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  • Posted by Riftsrunner 7 years, 11 months ago in reply to this comment.
    Well, Christianity has the controversy of the mistranslation of "virgin" and "young girl" as reference to Mary the mother of Jesus. But every religion has its carrots and sticks to incentivise its adherants to do some crazy things for the faith.
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