I thought it might be a good idea to lighten up the conversations a bit, so I've put down a few humorous slants on everyday topics.

The First Rule Of Grammar: a double negative is a no-no.

Modern art is when you buy a picture to cover a hole in the wall and then decide the hole looked better.

The trouble with experience being a teacher is that it gives the test before explaining the lesson.

Monday is an unsatisfactory way to spend one sevenths of your life.

Something to put on the endangered species list: An honest politician.

The more effective the prescription, the more horrendous the side effects.

According to the latest poll, most people don't believe in polls.

An example of opposite meanings: Progress and Congress.

Herbie's Inevitability Prediction: If you live each day as if it were your last - one of these days you'll be right.

And finally, the true moral behind the Cinderella story: People who wear glass slippers shouldn't tap dance.