As I opened my eyes this morning my wife reported that there was another terrorist attack in Brussels. So, the first words I uttered to start my day were, "They need to allow citizens to arm themselves there. Let them all pack heat so that when the terrorists show up everybody can blast the s*&t out of them. That'd stop it. Liberals are into the whole cuckold thing. They hate life."

How's that for speaking before the brain turns on?