Drafting Grandpa
For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a month, leaving us more than 280,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are bad-tempered and impatient, and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while..
An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.
If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.
Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however... I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.
Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too... I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.
These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.
Let us old guys track down those terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off old farts with bad attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them.
HEY!! How about recruiting women over 50...in menopause!!! You think MEN have attitudes?? Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!
Send this to all of your senior friends...in big type so they can read it.
I used to say that "you don't get old by being stupid" and by saying that, was my implication that liberals die early, leaving old age to us conservative old farts.
Conservative types don't spend a lot of time talking about sex (as in, "gentlemen don't tell") but that doesn't mean that we don't think about it or even that there is something going on with my old wife and me. It's just not that interesting to young whipper-snappers.
.
where they wanted to build the famous "bridge to
no-where" ... it was a place where a cheap-as-dirt
ferry moves people and vehicles from the town of
ketchikan to a little island where its airport is located.
at about six dollars per car, and a short 20 minute
wait (it's a short haul -- about 1/4 mile) the spot is
mostly important because of the 20 foot tides and
the weather. . "nowhere" has a population of about
50 and is the lifeline for the town -- you get stuff by
air or boat. . here's an article:::
http://www.heritage.org/research/reports...
-- j
.
way, and ... 'bye. . it's a big change. . be tough. -- j
.
.
f***ing corruption and buy track chairs for the GIs
with our tax money. -- j
.
.
Jan
My dad was so senile at that time that we had to point ourselves out in a family photograph so he would know who we were.
Sadly that photo was taken at the funeral home in 2006 on the same day my mother was buried.
After that, Dad had two girlfriends at the retirement village but not at the same time. He always liked younger women (my mother 7 years younger).
Jan
Jan
(and then they give you a new body)
May your dad find a fine Valhalla to linger in for a while, with some really knock-out Valkyrie maids!
Jan, agnostic
(besides which, screaming "Odin!" at someone can scare the Hel outta them.)
One slogan T Shirt.
Been There
Done That
Couldn't Afford
The T-Shirt
Stealth T-Shirt
(absolutely blank and cheap too!)
I propose a customer strike demanding advertising fees from Hollister, DKNY, Aeropostale and the like. 50% off or we turn them inside out.
late 16th century: from French infanterie, from Italian infanteria, from infante ‘youth, infantryman,’ from Latin infant-
The word infantry was borrowed into other Romance languages from the Latin infantem, originally "a youth" who as an infante, a "foot soldier" who served in groups composed of those soldiers who were too-inexperienced or too low in rank for membership to the cavalry.
Currently every one else in military is one form or another of support to infantry
Now is known as the Queen of battle from chess
(No known connection to Freddie Mercury)
Two days of nothing else? That's a record.
I noted though the differences in age so thought I might refine the define. To qualify you must be a Grandpa to have reached old age you must have received your first social security check. One down one to go. As far as I know.
Fishing resumes Tuesday.and the rest of my hiatus and research.
Saturday?
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