A Preview
Back in the days before TV when you went to the movies, in order to entice you to come back, they showed a "Preview Of Coming Attractions." In that way, you knew what movies were coming and whether you'd like to see them. In this, I'm going to present you with a preview of coming attractions of old age. Unlike the movies, however, you'll have no choice about whether or not you will experience them.
If you have the choice of two temptations, you'll choose the one that will get you home earlier.
When you do the Hokey Pokey and you put your left hip out -- it stays out!
Your back goes out more than you do.
You decide that if God wanted you to touch your toes, he would have put them on your knees.
Then And Now:
Then, you were trying for a BMW.
Now, you're trying for a BM.
If you're a woman, going braless pulls the wrinkles out of your face.
You can still enjoy an active, passionate sex life -- provided you get cable or that dish thing.
If you have the choice of two temptations, you'll choose the one that will get you home earlier.
When you do the Hokey Pokey and you put your left hip out -- it stays out!
Your back goes out more than you do.
You decide that if God wanted you to touch your toes, he would have put them on your knees.
Then And Now:
Then, you were trying for a BMW.
Now, you're trying for a BM.
If you're a woman, going braless pulls the wrinkles out of your face.
You can still enjoy an active, passionate sex life -- provided you get cable or that dish thing.
Wine, women and song have become beer, TV and the old lady.
You no longer have any idea when Taco Bell closes.
All the music that you hear in the super market was popular when you were in the Navy.
You quit smoking when cigarettes went to 65 cents in the machines.
I ran into an old war buddy, and he had gotten so old he almost didn't recognize me!
Health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.