I'm seriously late - 'missed this thread - but I have to put a couple of my faves:

Debate opponent: "Don't get smart with me."
Reply: "If I did, how would you know?"

"If you say the word 'challenge' around me and it doesn't involve a glove thrown at my feet and a demand that we meet at dawn for a duel to the death, I will hit you."

ahahahahhaha

Ok, you've been warned...

Yo' mama's such a collectivist, she told your pops to wait in line.

It is not advisable to venture unsolicited opinions. You should spare yourself the embarrassing discovery of their exact value to your listener
-Francisco D'Anconia

OK;;; just got to Amazon:::

http://www.amazon.com/Unsustainable-Tuck...

good book. . I read it several times and enjoyed
every trip through! -- j

I met her in math class, and tutored her a bit, and
then it got more complicated. . . the high point of
the wild ride was the day when her sister's puma
decided to take my right knee in her mouth and stare
at me until we figured out how to distract the eight-
foot-long mama lion with food. . . still have photos
from that weekend in floriday. . . Beautiful Lion,
but deserving of respect! -- j

I have to give credit to my brother for that one although I can't convince him to read Atlas Shrugged or look into objectivism as he prefers to "keep an open mind" and stay away from extremes. He came up with that during a conversation he was having with an environmentalist nut job who's final argument was that he had a college education and my brother did not.

Okay. Not the same girl I knew then. :)
"it was the opposite of James and Cherryl. "
That analogy didn't occur to me. I was thinking of someone from my past.

I like some of Weird Al's lines from "Genius in France" :

Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

A few fries short of a Happy Meal.

A few buttons missing on the remote control. (LOVE that one)

Not the sharpest hunk of cheese

dumber than a box of hair

Love it!

Love this one! Nice job!

woah. . . maybe it's good that I've received no
answer from anyone!!! -- j

think "nearly bloodless revolution" ....... -- j

We certainly need some ideas for that last part!

I SIGNED UP ON FACEBOOK JUST FOR S & G's. TWO EX GIRL FRIENDS WERE ON THERE AND FOUND ME. THEN MY WIFE (NOW X AFTER 40 YEARS) FOUND THAT THEY HAD FOUND ME. THERE WAS NO EXPLANATION I HAD THAT SHE ACCEPTED. IT BECAME PRETTY CHILLY IN THE HOUSE THEREAFTER.

WHO WOODA THUNK?

oh yes, when it hits Amazon or somewhere;;;; the
"other author" is finalizing publishing right now. -- j

p.s. it's entertaining, with s and m plus creative
ways to murder plus creative ways to save the
u.s. from internal destruction.......

You'll provide a link, right?
Thanks!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lP94PlEt...

well, not exactly;;; she was a student with me, and
wanted a wild ride as a flower child . . . .and, though
we did have some wild rides, I was in engineering
and usaf rotc, and she wanted a wilder ride....... -- j

p.s. it was the opposite of James and Cherryl.

the latest -- "unsustainable" -- should hit the bricks
in a month or so. . . fascinating science friction study
of the current state of affairs. -- j

We've got taxation and it's without representation.
We just never learned what it really means.

A buddy rushed up to a good looking woman and asked her if she'd like to dance.

She answered yes, but not with you.

I've started an autobiography... maybe my version of a 'life diary.'
Maybe some day it will be a legacy of mine...
Good luck and best wishes with your writing and publication!

"she was just an innocent young department-store manager's daughter when I met her."
She worked at a retail store herself and spent most of her small paycheck buying things using her employee discount. She liked the notion of having a stable person to dress and decorate the house, etc, but the reality of living daily with a stable, rational person didn't work for her. Did I guess at all correct?

John Wayne famously said (supposedly)

"Life is hard. It's even harder if you're stupid."