By Attorney: Doctor, as a result of your examination of the plaintiff, is the young lady pregnant?
By Witness: The young lady is pregnant -- but not as a result of my examination.

My wife says attorneys love attorney jokes.

We have actually gone back and read the transcript of when we sued our kids' school, our only time being party to a law suit. It has its funny moments, at least for us. They settled before we had the opportunity to depose all of them. It would have been an episode of Portlandia.

exactly

All stairs always go down and up. Just depends on where you start.

I like my Law firm.........
Fleesing, Chadam and Howe

In order for that to be the case the question would be framed differently. A set of stairs cannot both go down to the basement and up to the second floor. If you can exit to the first floor it necessarily implies another set of stairs. You could say you can go down to the basement or up to the second floor. But lawyers rarely frame questions like that attempting to simultaneously get a precise answer and manipulate the witness response. That 's why these are often so funny, the style of questioning leads to a long series of answers that less precisely could have given the same info with only one question.

I'm not sure what you're referring to with "by your title". When I initially read your posting, I definitely had to chuckle. But for some reason, the thought struck me that the question about down-up, could actually be valid under certain circumstances.

do those stairs go down as well?
Hey walt, on your post there is no link or comment in the notes. What are you referring to by your title?

and that night when you were shot, what happened
to you, after that?

I developed a severe allergy to lead. -- j

Yes, a thousand times yes.

Regarding the "You say that the stairs went down to the basement? Yes. And these stairs, did they go up also?" If one were standing on, say, the first floor, and there are two or more floors, then there could be stairs going down to the basement as well as stairs going up to the second floor. In that scenario, the question would make sense.

No, Mike, there's at least one of those that can...

Engineer, Physicist and Mathematician check in to a hotel (different rooms.... don't go there...)

Some hours later, Engineer smells smoke, sees some tongues of flame lapping around his bed. Goes out to the hall, grabs the fire hose and soaks down the hall, his room, the bed and everything else in sight, then, satisfied, goes back to sleep.

Physicist wakes up, smells smoke, sees flame. Goes into the hall, grabs a fire extinguisher and pssst.... psssst.... pssst..... puts out the flames and smothers the fire. Satisfied, he returns to bed and goes to sleep.

Mathematician .... same thing... smoke, fire...
Goes into the bathroom, turns on a faucet, splashes some water with his hands and exclaims, "There IS a Solution!"... and goes back to bed and sleeps.

No lawyer in that one... though I'd bet if there were, he/she'd be collecting names and preparing a class action suit.

:)
and my stepson IS a lawyer, but one of the 'good guys,' or he'd be getting a lot more shit from me on a regular basis....
:)

Like shooting fish in a barrel... Google "lawyer jokes" and prepare to do a lot of subsequent link-clicking!

https://www.google.com/search?sourceid=n...

Well, you can delete your post, can't you?
:)

Agree strongly. The mills are still pumping out law school grads. Some clearly encourage destructive victim-hood precisely absolving us from desperately needed personal accountability and responsibility. I am not holding my breath for any meaningful Tort reform.

Did you know that 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name?

no. saying in a straight forward manner that he does not drive a Mercedes. Frankly, I find them uncomfortable to camp out of

What a great way to wake up in the morning. Thank you for a belly laugh over coffee.

I have been on the stand once: the lawyer for the other side was archetypally sleazy. After a few exchanges between the two of us, my friend's lawyer stopped trying to object to the sleazy lawyer's tactics and literally leaned back and stretched out his legs to enjoy the show. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught the judge laughing.

The case did not go well for the other side.

Jan

Bad Herb!

Wow, everything was just peachy keen and funny. I was enjoying the silly jokes and then came along a humorless and stale party-pooper.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?
A: One is a scum-sucking bottom dweller, and the other's ... a fish.

And they are not allowed to bring aboard their carrions.

db drives a suburban :)