LONDON — In a move intended to help citizens direct their hatred toward the appropriate parties, UK police released an updated chart showing who you're currently allowed to be racist against.

With residents unsure about which people groups they are allowed to hate, authorities said the updated chart should provide a useful road map ...

"Here we are with your government-endorsed Hate Chart," said Constable Wellington Chestershire. "As you can see ‘ere, large groups of individuals from Africa and the Middle East who go ‘round rapin' and pillagin' is totally acceptable, while a poor, English grandmum prayin' on a street corner is a proper target for hate. She's got white skin, see? That's what you're to be lookin' for when you need to do some racism. Simple, innit?"

.. .. Now, I know to only point my anger toward native British white folks, preferably Christians. Thanks, police!"
.. British authorities emphasized that caucasians born in the UK remained the top government-sanctioned group for racism, provided they were .. against having their country invaded by radical foreign-born Muslims.
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