Experts Don't know Why Young People Are Suddenly Starting To Collapse, But It's Definitely Not That One Thing

Posted by $ allosaur 2 months, 1 week ago to Humor
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Yes, doggone! Medical experts are absolutely stumped why healthy young people are suddenly collapsing from heart failure.
Fortunately, medical experts abound everywhere. A local expert (who is smarter than you) said, "It's too early to say what could be causing this, but it is never too early to say what ISN'T causing this. You got that?"
Yes, gentle reader, who wants to be censored? Worse, even cancelled. There's cancelled and there's cancelled if yous wanna factor in Schiff what comes from Arkansas.
"So," the local expert continued, "we can go ahead and rule out that thing it can't ever be. Why? I'll tell you why. Science just called on the phone and told us not to discuss it. We always follow Science."
"And you should too," the local expert concluded, "if you know what's good for you."
In other word, do you have any questions? That means~~shut the hell up.

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