Oh, The Horror! 13 Billion Dead After Trump Unbanned From Twitter!

Posted by $ allosaur 4 days, 2 hours ago to Humor
0 comments | Share | Flag

"We should have seen this coming!" cried out a distraught and a mourning thoroughly repentant Elon Musk before he inserted a .44 Magnum into his mouth after he surveyed the killing fields beneath a darkening sky filled with vultures and crows. "Libs tried to warn me but I just wouldn't listen! Oh, no! Oh, woe! Oh, woe is me!"
"Oh, woe, indeed!" wailed a heartbroken AOC. "The sheer barbarity unleashed by Orange Man Bad posting words on Twitter has killed every human on earth and then killed billions of them again! I myself have died 17 times from Trump's Tweets! Egad! That evil cur just posted another! EEEEE-YAAAAAAAAAA!!!
"Wow! Best apocalypse ever!" is what Trump posted next.
At Babylon Bee's publishing time, Trump called for the end of the violence, causing another billion people to die. Wait, didn't we just run out of people? What could be left? Oh, yeah, the good die young as some song goes. That would leave Democrats, RINOs and PC scammers lying about how much money they make and promising a way for you to amass UNTOLD RICHES!!!
In the sidebar called Trending Articles, all you ghosts of yourselves kindly check out "Twitter Is Dead, 300 Million People (still Alive) Post On Twitter."
And beneath the main article, don't overlook the accompanying video about a fired Twitter employee looking for her first real job.
Oh. no! I just used a fully forbidden "her" pronoun! Since we're all dead, that means I'm headed straight down to pronoun hell!!!
SOURCE URL: https://babylonbee.com/news/13-billion-dead-after-trump-unbanned-from-twitter

Add Comment



  • Comment hidden. Undo