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World Panics As Science Announces His Retirement

Posted by $ allosaur 2 years, 10 months ago to Humor
31 comments | Share | Flag

The entire world is in a panic since Dr. Fauci, the living embodiment of science itself, announced his retirement in December.
As a result, the scientific community is announcing mass resignations.
"This is a disaster," one scientist said. "We are surely headed for another Dark Age without Gaia's Oracle to guide us."
As for Fauci's retirement, he plans to spend plenty of time with beagles to weaponize Monkey Pox in his basement.
After reading the article some dino just altered a tad, be sure to scroll down to a video to hear the Babylon Bee Beach Boys sing, "I Wish We Could All Leave California."
The "Trending Articles" sidebar includes more Fauci Schiff plus the announcement that Liz Cheney will not be back for Season Two of the January 6 Hearings.

All Comments

  • Posted by katrinam41 2 years, 10 months ago
    What an insult to all elves! That swamp rat is a nasty wizened little gnome. Troll would also be appropriate. Excrement would be even better.
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  • Posted by $ allosaur 2 years, 10 months ago in reply to this comment.
    If you replaced their fat heads with air, they would never drown or be able to swim underwater.
    They would merely bob on the surface from the neck up.
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  • Posted by LibertyBelle 2 years, 10 months ago
    Well, what have we here? A 21st-century Louis XIV? "L'état, c'est moi, I believe he said, (translated: "I am the state.") But the arrogance of government officials in the United States of America is astounding.
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  • Posted by $ allosaur 2 years, 10 months ago in reply to this comment.
    Falsie Fauci DOES look like an elf you'd see illustrated for a child's story book.
    Shrink Falsie and set him beside a tiny widdle Joey Biden, who stands in one of a pair of presidential shoes that finger-sized sock puppet could not ever fill in a meme I recently saw.
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  • Posted by Dobrien 2 years, 10 months ago
    Florida Governor Ron DeSantis called White House Covid czar Anthony Fauci a ‘little elf,’ urging him to retire as he’s ‘sick of seeing him’
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  • Posted by $ blarman 2 years, 10 months ago in reply to this comment.
    He did say he was going to explore other career options...

    My fervent prayer is for all of the WHO and Davos to be gathered in one city when a rogue Urkainian nuke gets detonated there... "Just a little housekeeping..."
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  • Posted by $ blarman 2 years, 10 months ago
    Count me in with the panicking crowd! Oh, no! What will I do without Emperor Fauci and his exalted views? Maybe I better put on a fourth mask, since three simply aren't good enough? [/s]
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  • Posted by Owlsrayne 2 years, 10 months ago
    Fauci is one Swamp Animal the people of the USA can do without. The agency he ran became the real-life "Swamp Thing". Even though my wife is a working RN the last announcement about the latest Covid strain got her upset. When both of us got the last Covid strain she ended up with heart problems despite being thrice vaccinated. I am tired of the federal government health agencies lies!
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  • Posted by term2 2 years, 10 months ago
    Dr Fauci is the embodiment of bureaucratic self serving employment- a living example of what we dont want in government.
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  • Posted by $ allosaur 2 years, 10 months ago in reply to this comment.
    "Hello, Mr. Shredder. Yes, my, oh, so indispensable good friend, here I come yet again."
    (These words accompanied by some squishy creepzoid that is a science fiction substance dragging itself across a floor as bats chirp and wolves howl in the distance).
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  • Posted by $ Markus_Katabri 2 years, 10 months ago
    “Please retain your documents.”
    (Whispers): He’s not going to retain his documents.
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  • Posted by $ Olduglycarl 2 years, 10 months ago
    Heard that gates has a job for him at the global level. Maybe the WHO?
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