Scientists Unveil Periodic Table Of Genders

Posted by $ allosaur 1 week, 4 days ago to Humor
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This nation's leading scientists, namely scientists who follow the science and therefore ARE science thus worthy of government grants, have unveiled a new periodic table of genders to help everyone keep track of the ever evolving gender spectrum.
Ordained by the Department of Education as a test question to always be asked throughout These United States, the gender table features 114 genders in addition to a wild card space that represents the limitless imagination of the human mind.
Scientists who are science for following the science recommend that the periodic table of genders be added to each state's curriculum for grades 9-thru-12.
Know that the more hip California legislators have already voted to require teaching the periodic table of genders beginning in kindergarten,
And why not? It is a fact that teaching little kids foreign languages is easier than teaching any stuff mature adults may find nonsensical for following the science.
CHECK OUT the sideboard of Trending Articles that relates to this 'un, such as (1) the San Diego Comic-Con revealing that all comic book heroes are now gay and (2) about how elementary teachers now worry that their gay students may decide to go straight during summer breaks. Oh, the horror!
SOURCE URL: https://babylonbee.com/news/scientists-unveil-periodic-table-of-genders

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  • Posted by mccannon01 1 week, 3 days ago
    I've come to appreciate the BB always being ahead of the curve. Therefore, it's only a matter of time and millions of taxpayer dollars in grants and school taxes and it will be a new standard to deal with. Hey, why not? LOL!
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  • Posted by samsrand 1 week, 3 days ago
    As an actual scientist I am incredibly offended by this BS. I seriously doubt that the offended-obsessed morons who came up with this nonsense would the least bit phased by me being offended. Teaching children to ignore reality has got to be the epitome of evil.
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    • Posted by DrZarkov99 1 week, 3 days ago
      What's most evil is that the redefinition of gender is being used to "educate" children in "gender fluidity" and what kinds of delightful sex is associated with these newly defined behavioral patterns. A better word for it is GROOMING, by a pedophile-dominated corrupt political establishment eager to enjoy sex with minors.

      When I went to school, I didn't even know the marital status of my teachers, let alone their sexual preferences. Yet today we hear from some teachers about how restricting them from these obscene goals is an infringement on their "right" to discuss their personal sexual behaviors with elementary school children.

      The government school system should be abolished, and replaced by a market-driven private educational system.
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  • Posted by $ blarman 1 week, 3 days ago
    I think I'm going to write a story about imaginationally-challenged aliens who come to earth to study cognitive dissonance and end up literally forcing their patients' heads to explode. Half the Earth's population dies in this experiment.
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    • Posted by $ 1 week, 3 days ago
      Space aliens with intellects socially similar to ours back during the 1950s would be shocked by those ding-a-lings allowed to hold power over others in the USA right now.
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