Father Of 5-Year-Old Pterodactyl Finds It Not Easy To Get Species-Affirming Care
AW, C'MON! What a total shocker in THESE United States!!!
The Texas father of a 5-year-old trans pterodactyl, Bradley Mingastank ACTUALLY has to struggle to find species-affirming medical care his young dinosaur son needs,
WHAT IS WRONG WITH AMERICA, Y'ALL?! WHAT IS WRONG?!
After all, this is now an enlightened Woke America where trans females are no longer male and, despite still having unweildy seed-sowing genitals, are allowed to ruin women's sports so a tiny portion of our population won't go wah-wah-wah for feeling unfulfilled.
"Seriously, it's 2022, and we still can't provide medical care to children who think they are extinct flying lizards," said Mingastank.
Father Mingastank's ordeal began when his dear little son, Madison, refused to take off a Halloween costume after trick or treating.
"I do my best to raise my son as a pterodactyl per his wishes, which is important for his self-esteem," Mingastank said. "I only communicate with him in ear-piercing screeches, I feed him small rodents and fish and every once in a while I push him off the roof of the garage so he can try to fly."
BUT DESPITE ALL THAT, Madison's daddy said NO DOCTORS are willing to get the ultraviolet heat lamps and lizard medicine his pterodactyl body SO DESPERATELY NEEDS!
"WHY CAN'T OUR MEDICAL PROFESSION FOLLOW THE SCIENCE!" Mingastank broken-heartedly screamed.
Well, sad to say, Mingastank has given up on people doctors. Totally unbiased as CNN, Reporter dino's interview ended with Mingastank saying he will try the local veterinarian next.
UPDATE: This just in. Madison has changed his mind and decided he is now a sea lion. His parents are currently looking for a giant aquarium to keep him in. One preferably that comes with an iceberg floating in it.
The Texas father of a 5-year-old trans pterodactyl, Bradley Mingastank ACTUALLY has to struggle to find species-affirming medical care his young dinosaur son needs,
WHAT IS WRONG WITH AMERICA, Y'ALL?! WHAT IS WRONG?!
After all, this is now an enlightened Woke America where trans females are no longer male and, despite still having unweildy seed-sowing genitals, are allowed to ruin women's sports so a tiny portion of our population won't go wah-wah-wah for feeling unfulfilled.
"Seriously, it's 2022, and we still can't provide medical care to children who think they are extinct flying lizards," said Mingastank.
Father Mingastank's ordeal began when his dear little son, Madison, refused to take off a Halloween costume after trick or treating.
"I do my best to raise my son as a pterodactyl per his wishes, which is important for his self-esteem," Mingastank said. "I only communicate with him in ear-piercing screeches, I feed him small rodents and fish and every once in a while I push him off the roof of the garage so he can try to fly."
BUT DESPITE ALL THAT, Madison's daddy said NO DOCTORS are willing to get the ultraviolet heat lamps and lizard medicine his pterodactyl body SO DESPERATELY NEEDS!
"WHY CAN'T OUR MEDICAL PROFESSION FOLLOW THE SCIENCE!" Mingastank broken-heartedly screamed.
Well, sad to say, Mingastank has given up on people doctors. Totally unbiased as CNN, Reporter dino's interview ended with Mingastank saying he will try the local veterinarian next.
UPDATE: This just in. Madison has changed his mind and decided he is now a sea lion. His parents are currently looking for a giant aquarium to keep him in. One preferably that comes with an iceberg floating in it.
