Judge Instructs Jury To Ignore Angry Mob Threatening To Burn Courthouse

Posted by $ allosaur 2 years, 4 months ago to Humor
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With closing arguments completed in the Rittenhouse case, the judge instructed the jury to ignore the angry mob outside.
"Be fair and impartial," he told the quaking jurists, who were all wearing Kevlar helmets and body armor. "Just ignore the bloodthirsty mob of communists,
threatening to terrorize you and your families forever. That should not factor into your decision at all."

Note from the dino~~BB is supposed to be humorous satire, but I find the sad truth embedded into today's exaggeration to be more horrific than humorous.
SOURCE URL: https://babylonbee.com/news/judge-instructs-jury-to-ignore-angry-mob-outside-threatening-to-burn-down-courthouse


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  • Posted by $ 25n56il4 2 years, 4 months ago
    You left out something, dear! 'And those NG guys don't have any bullets in their guns, so nobody will get hurt.
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    • Posted by $ 2 years, 4 months ago
      Me dino may feel stupid for seeing the answer to my question, but what are "NG guys"?
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      • Posted by mccannon01 2 years, 4 months ago
        National Guard.
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        • Posted by $ 2 years, 4 months ago
          Well. I don't feel stupid. I would have figured that out if I knew "NG guys" had no bullets in the first place. They can always fix bayonets. In the Marines I was taught how to use an M14 rifle (about long as a M1) as a combo fighting spear and a club. That was at basic training at 1969 Parris Island. Elsewhere duting my next phase of combat training, hey didn't bother teaching a supply clerk how to hand-to-hand fight with a M16 if they even taught as much to grunts. Still, if you attach a bayonet to an empty M16, you can bring a short spear to a gunfight.
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  • Posted by mccannon01 2 years, 4 months ago
    Yes, a business opportunity opens up: Rittenhouse Security Service.

    I wish I was on the jury so I could dance on the idiot prosecutor's arguments and make sure any lefties stick to the facts and don't sneak in any commie propaganda or weepy feelings for the dead or injured criminals.
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