Rittenhouse Now Guilty! Mail-In Ballots Arrive At 3AM!

Posted by $ allosaur 2 weeks, 4 days ago to Humor
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Kenosha, WI~~In a stunning reversal, Kyle Rittenhouse awoke this morning to discover he had been found guilty after all.
Mail-in jury votes had arrived in a truck at the courthouse at 3AM all declaring the defendant guilty of all counts.
Shocked defense attorneys stated: "We never heard of this! Where did these votes come from?"
To that the grinning with gleaming teeth prosecutors proclaimed, "How dare you question the sanctity of our criminal justice system? There is no justice until EVERY vote is counted!"
While skinny oft-smirking prosecutor gleefully racked a round into Rittenhouse's re-confiscated AR15, the fat one full of Schiff who's OK with anyone being beat up by a mob to the point of death said, "Mail-in jury votes is a new COVID measure President Biden implemented because he knows Rittenhouse is a white supremacist. Just ask him. He may remember it. So that means anyone here who doesn't like it is a racist."
SOURCE URL: https://babylonbee.com/news/after-prosecutors-find-mail-in-jury-votes-at-3am-rittenhouse-now-guilty


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  • Posted by $ AJAshinoff 2 weeks, 3 days ago
    sadly, in spite of its humor, I can't dismiss something like this happening today.
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    • Posted by $ 2 weeks, 3 days ago
      That's the point of this particular piece of satire.
      Should America become fully enslaved by the Marxist Woke Yoke, one-sided and always evil crap like that will be happening all the time.
      Count on the Presidential Puppet's puppeteers and friends of the same persuasion to be working hard to make that happen every night and day.
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      • Posted by $ AJAshinoff 2 weeks, 3 days ago
        I understand, I just think the entire matter is self-evident to the point of being absurd. I also wouldn't be much surprised if this became the norm in the future.
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        • Posted by $ 2 weeks, 3 days ago
          Me dino would not be surprised if a variant pandemic or a new one made in a lab causes truckloads and truckloads of mail-in ballots to be dumped helter-skelter all over the country just in time for the next presidential election.
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