Some bean counter justifying his or her job by "staying busy". And in the process, demeaning the intelligence of the average human being.

You are correct in saying "writers" in plural. No doubt an entire department of government wastes worked on this important message. As always, it is for the children and for your safety!

Finally, the article gets down to “marshmallow basics,” and starts by recommending the use of a roasting stick “of at least 30 inches.” At that length, it should have a bipod and a grip for positive control. A pistol grip would work best. Add an automatic marshmallow reloading feature, paint it black and, before you know it, they'll be banned from schools... Americans don't need those extra calories anyway! Especially in those huge 1 lb bags!

Ya know, I don't even particularly like toasted marshmallows...but I do love to burn-toast them the way you describe! Such fun!

Jan

Clearly indicating the opinion of our socialist government self-licking ice cream cone.
"Of course these people need more rules and us to rule them. They can't even toast marshmallows safely."

Definitely with you on the instructions!
Light marshmallow on fire
Turn over until burned all over
Blow out
Each awesome burned part with a little of the gooey white stuff
Repeat until gone (usually 1-2 times for a FDA approved marshmallow)

Just be glad smores have not been outlawed, yet.

OMG!!
Being a Boy Scout or a family camper would probably drive the writer(s) of this crazy! When I was camping, we cooked our meals, baked bread and yes, roasted marshmallows, in ways that would send these pseudo nannies screaming. Somehow, we all survived. The only major pain results were caused by poison ivy, poison sumac and mosquito bites. We now have salves and sprays which pretty much take care of those hazards.

exactly. There's nobody reading that-well except us to point out how stupid it is

seriously? we are PAYING people to do this???

Flame on! Same here, Snoogoo. Any other method: Why bother?

Incredible??? Downright embarrassing for
all of us!!

LOL!!!!! Made my day!!

To think that we the taxpayers paid some Big Brother PC government employee to write all that useless blather. Who would bother to read that anyway? Only Michelle, I suppose.
I recall roasting marshmallows as a kid with a bunch of other little kids after dark in south Alabama during the 50s. Some adult gave me a stick and showed me where an open bag of marshmallows was. I was expected to do figure out how to do the rest. I did not set myself on fire and had a yummy good time. End of story.

All in good time, comrade!

Thank goodness we got instruction in this vital matter, but when is the government going to turn to other crucial issues? There are still no instructions on clipping tonails, taking out the trash, vacuuming carpets, safely petting cats, flossing, push-ups, the proper quantity of milk in one's cereal, grocery shopping, and how long to boil spaghetti noodles. Until we're told how to do these things, we're not getting the good government we're paying for!

You've seen my CDC post on zombie apocalypse right? Yes, they have indeed got a set of plans for you to follow in such an event. Much is basic protocol for any disaster. My fav step is to "update your list of contacts frequently. "

This is incredible. Every time I think I have a measure on how patronizing our culture is...

Geeze.

Jan

Really?? We need this?

this is a big fight in my family. I like snoogoo's method. the rest of the family are golden brown and bubbly experts. there are property rights in roasting a marshmallow. would people attend to their lives like they attend to their perfectly cooked sugary goodness...which will be immediately sandwiched between Toblerone and graham cracker

I will stick to my method of lighting the marshmallow on fire, then frantically blowing it out just in time thank you very much. That is way more fun. Marshmallow covered fruit? Gross. They'll have to take my flaming marshmallow out of my burnt up dead hands before I'll follow those crazy suggestions. The part that gets me is that someone in the government is getting paid to spend time on writing crap like that. Boo.