Heroic Comrade Flip Floppy Boob Faulsie proudly stands among the experts who have detected a variant more dangerous to our New World Order than that the Covid Variant spreading among the population.
It's so very strange, this We The People Variant, comrades, for making people act like politicians aren't in charge at all. Oh, the horror!
This new aka "Freedom Variant" has caused an outbreak of disobedient people not wearing masks, teaching their children their own quaint values and daring to express ideas that our beloved President Hyena Harris would never approve as ordered by The Squad aka Superior Authority.
So Me Comrade Reporter Dino called Superior Authority on my free Big Brother cell phone to ask how we can possibly defeat this terrible variant.
Superior Authority consulted our beloved Dr. Flip Floppy before they circled back to say the following:
"Order all comrade citizens to always stay on highly moderated social media sites, and watch only approved news networks to avoid being infected. For example, strive to enhance Don Lemon's needful ratings. Also tell people to watch out for masklessness, smiling faces and prominent displays of the proclaimed as contraband obsolete American flag."