With Enough Vaccinations, Obiden May Authorize Sparklers on 4th Of July

Posted by $ allosaur 1 month, 1 week ago to Humor
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"I am a generous president," Our Great Unifier said, "and I shall bestow this~~this~~uh, thing. What am I doing here? Wazzit, President Kamala? Yes, let me read the rest. Where am I? Aw, c'mon! Please point. Oh, I shall bestow this gift upon my sheeple for their compliance. Resistance is futile."
Horrific are reports that indicate far-right extremists are planning to shoot every firework they own. Those insurgents claim they shall celebrate so-called noble ideas like "freedom" and "independence from a tyrannical government," but wide awake woke appointed "there's no government like good government" experts explain those are just codes for hate and fascist oppression.
So it be all y'all's duty to rat out all such offenders to Antifa on sight.
In "Related Articles" the only one in six articles that relates is Gloriously Green! about Obiden announcing his handlers' goal of $100 per gallon of gas. Isn't that wonderful?!
It's called the "Gas Prices To The Mooooon Campaign!" A series of executive orders will hike up the price of gas to make it unattainable to anyone except John Kerry.
Nancy Pelosi was asked how Americans will be able to afford to get around. Giddily grinning and waving her hands all about, our third in line to the Oval Office said, "They can all stay at home and eat ice cream."
In "Must Read," you must read how our Democrat leaders scrambled to prove Seantor Tin Scott wrong about America no longer being a racist country.
It was quite easy. They simply dove into storage, dusted off their old KKK hoods, put them on their heads and said, "If America a'int racist, explain these white hoods we be a-wearin'?!"
In the "Don't Miss" section, don't miss reading "How To Discuss Social Justice With Your Toddler" and the piece about how the BLM founder calls for abolishing the police only in areas where she doesn't own several houses scattered about here, there and anywhere with more as yet to buy. All those big business donations to BLM are very much appreciated.
SOURCE URL: https://babylonbee.com/news/biden-with-enough-vaccinations-im-prepared-to-authorize-sparklers-on-the-4th-of-july

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  • Posted by mccannon01 1 month, 1 week ago
    Don't worry, Dino, with the coming inflationary spiral and a $300 per hour minimum wage paying $100 for a gallon of gas is only relative, LOL!
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    • Posted by $ 1 month, 1 week ago
      Makes me dino think of watching a movie set in Italy and someone pulling a million-something lira out of his pocket to pay for some dinky thing.
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      • Posted by mccannon01 1 month, 1 week ago
        True! The end of the Weimar Republic was a disaster with piles of paper money for a loaf of bread. More recent "experiments" can be seen in Zimbabwe and Venezuela. Now what do you suppose those two have in common and we are on our way?
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        • Posted by $ 1 month, 1 week ago
          Yeah, long ago on TV me dino saw a grainy old black and white film of a German woman pushing a wheelbarrow filled with bills to buy a loaf of bread. Today a Republican looking for a donation sent me snail mail that included a Banco Central de Venezuela 100 Cien Bolivares bank note with a letter stating a wheelbarrow of such notes are needed to buy a loaf of bread in that "socialist paradise." Coincidental, ain't it?
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