John Cena Apologizes To China By Body-Slamming Enslaved Uighur Muslim

Posted by $ allosaur 2 weeks, 5 days ago to Humor
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WWE wrestler turned Hollywood movie actor John Cena made a terrible mistake in a recent promotional appearance for "Fast & Furious 9.
He~~oh, heavens, no!~~referred to Taiwan as a country. This insulted who is now Hollywood's true masters, the CCP, who demanded a video apology spoken in Mandarin.
So speaking in Mandarin, Cena complied and in part he said, "We want to show our movie in your wonderful free country and make lots of money, which is far more important than the principles of freedom I pretended to love."
Even professional wrestlers can act. Have you noticed?
A day before this Bee release, there was a previous one entitled "John Cena To Undergo Experimental Spine Implant Surgery" without explaining the why. Without the why explained until the "Body Slamming" version, me dino opted to post a competing "CNN Hiring Donald Trump" instead.
Well, here's the reject~~https://babylonbee.com/news/john-cena...
Nothing relates to the lead article in "Related Articles." The unrelated related article me dino likes best is "Dave Ramsey Releases Official Line Of Budget Ramen" brand of inexpensive noodle soup dinners and instant lunches. Why? Are you anticipating an economic crash? Well, me dino is. So much for your opinion!
Now listen, y'all, for just ten cents a package~~yeah, one thin dime!~~avoid going into debt with a variety of flavors such as "Thrifty," "Cheapskate," "College Fund" and "Paying Off My House Early."
Bon appetit!
In "Must Read," you must read "9 Easy Ways For Your Church To Be Less White." Heck, the title sounds like the Coca-Cola CEO, the CIA and the U.S. Armed Services all talking the same Woke Schiff.
My favorite 2 out of 9 Ways are #1 "Ask white people to stop coming" and #9 "Just tell all your white congregants to kill themselves."
In "Don't Miss," don't miss reading how Democrat Party Chairman Tom Perez said he'd be "delighted" to have Hillary Clinton run again while laser-sight dots were seen dancing around on his forehead in a menacing formation.
Yes. Perez continued to say wonderful things about Cackles The Evil Hag while mopping off sweat, nervously adjusting his collar and making gulping noises a lot.
Fir some inexplicable reason an interviewer asked Perez if he was under duress before she slumped over unconscious with a dart in her neck.
Finally, the laser dots disappeared and Perez sighed in release.
Say, what's that yellow liquid under the chairman's chair?
SOURCE URL: https://babylonbee.com/news/john-cena-apologizes-to-china-by-body-slamming-an-uighur-muslim


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