At Last! CDC Says You No Longer Have To Wear A Life Jacket Outside In Case Of Rain

Posted by $ allosaur 2 months, 2 weeks ago to Humor
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The Good News!~~Libs will continue to wear life jackets until there's 0% chance of being caught in a freak flash flood.
The Bad News~~The article did not mention your mandate to most especially wear a life jacket INSIDE in case of rain.
Hey, buildings of all sorts can get flooded, y'all, even to the point of submerging a rooftop left for you to stand on way over your heads. But look on the bright side. At least you won't ever drown in your bathtub.
Since wearing a life jacket CDC relates to wearing a mask with that relating to Covid-19, for once in a blue moon a whopping 4 out of 6 "Related Articles" kinda relates to the lead story. The most significant is "Constitution Dies Of Coronavirus" for obvious reasons while The Squad looks on giddily giggling. Another is about the Coronavirus fleeing New Work State due to high taxes being raised on it, in another the pandemic gives the USA an excuse to quarantine California where a "Doctor (is) Arrested For Prescribing Fresh Air, Sunshine."
In "Must Read" you must read about how Muslims want to kill Jews, how Jews don't want to die and how amazingly neither will negotiate. AHearsay has it that all of The Squad speaks of that delimma this way: "What's wrong with those Jews?"
In "Don't Miss," don't miss how unborn babies now disguise themselves as Death Row inmates so liberals won't kill them and another is entitled, "Buttigieg Calls For Decriminalizing Crime."
SOURCE URL: https://babylonbee.com/news/cdc-says-you-no-longer-have-to-wear-a-life-jacket-outside-in-case-of-rain


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