"Raise your kids right with My First Knife Fight sez the ad on TV!
Aw, how sweet! Today Hasbro announces an exciting new playset for kids and little innocent babies that's so normal for the good healthy growing up process. Just ask BLM!
The playset features real shivs kids can use to stab each other in innocent street fights. Yes, this is all about good clean fun.
How dare any stupid defunded cops show up guns blazing, spraying hot lead all over the place to murder little black kids for no good reason!
Get "My First Knife Fight" wherever great toys for precious little babies are sold.
Sorry, tourniquets and body bags are sold separately.
In today's The Babylon Bee's "Related Articles" nothing really relates even though 2 of the 6 articles are about kids.
What really relates is in "Must Read" is a story about LeBron James, who recently criticized a nosy cop needlessly interfering with a girl playing with a knife by shooting her dead.
In this article James performs yet another public service by pulling over in his sporty convertible to lecture a homeless man about his white privilege.
Man, oh, man, that LeBron ball-dribbler on a mission gots his game!
Yeah, on the court, off the court, all over the freakin' place!
Oh, speaking of games, in "Don't Miss" don't miss reading about a new version Pokemon Go begin named Pokemon Stay for the quarantined in states that still "follow the science."