The Babylon Bee strikes again!
What a bad dog!
"Affectionately known here as Joe-Blow," a White House spokesperson said, "our president has always limited his actions to sniffing and friendly licks. Joe-Blow has never bitten anyone like this."
Off the record is the rumor that Joe-Blow's Marxist handlers will take that naughty, naughty dog to an obedience school run by some tranny known as Dominatrix Donna Ur Donne.
You may be interested in a Related Articles announcement of a new constitutional amendment offering a consolation prize to winners of the popular vote. The first recipient of a free framed certificate has already cackled her thanks yet before she sighed and said, "Oh, how much better it would have been to be just like our current Thief-In-Chief. Well, not where he is right now being led around on a leash."
Featured in the Must Read section is "Here Are the 7 Tell-Tale Signs Your Newborn Baby Is A Racist." (Psst! Being born white is #1!)
In the Don't Miss column Don Lemon is furious about his privacy being violated by people who actually watch his show.